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Full Version: [Approved] Application - Zedyne
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How did you find us? (Forums, friend, previous member, etc...): I was looking for an actual role playing Minecraft server, one that had no little kids, griefers, etc, as well as a well made lore and good community.
About You: I'm a Hungarian guy who has more freetime than he wants it to be. I'm interested in role playing, I've been doing it as far as in 2011. In my RPs on Skype, I was usually the DM as well! Thanks to the timezone differences I might appear in strange times, however I'm quite dedicated, therefore persistent. I hope to not fail in my quest of finding the place of RPing and Minecraft!

CHARACTER INFORMATION

Name: Zedyne Moonbeam
Age: 31
Race: Mesalian

Gender: Male


Appearance:
Zedyne is a rugged wanderer, managing his own clothes and equipment with supplies he either buys from merchants or finds in the ruins. His clothing consists of a white, long sleeved shirt, gray pants, a hooded green cloak, brown leather boots, leather shoulder pads and wrist protectors, as well as a similar, brown leather backpack. He also owns a pair of goggles which he uses for swimming, and a golden amulet with an emerald centerpiece - his mother's last gift for him.
The man himself is relatively tall, burly, standing at the height of 185 centimeters (6"1'), with fat and muscle present on him alike, giving him enough physical power to do straining things, yet cushioning him enough for swimming and resting comfortably.
Thanks to his lifestyle, Zedyne seems to be always slightly tanned. His hair is brown, as well as his full beard, giving him a rugged but friendly appearance. He looks at the world with sharp, emerald green eyes, which reflect the soul of a man who broke but rebuilt himself.
Zedyne has some healed cut marks on his hands, all thanks to his previous life and wanderings, in which he had to learn a thing or two about survival.


Personality: 
Zedyne is generally a kind hearted person, able to smile, cheer, but also feel sadness and sorrow, throughout his life he had the opportunity to experience all sorts of emotions. When in interaction with others, he will be cheerful, happy looking, however, if questioned about his past, his cheer will shortly disappear. This originates from the events he had to go through.
In his early childhood, as an innocent child Zedyne was adventurous, easily amazed by the things he found or was shown by his parents. As he grew this receded, turning into a passion to learn of nature. In his teenage years he was a moderate, well-behaved young man, respectful towards his elders. However, his nature of wanting to go on an adventure broke out multiple times, bringing him into often dangerous situations. He survived all of them thankfully without any trouble, giving him an unnecessary amount of confidence.
Things changed when he was in his early twenties, as his village has been attacked and his people slain. With the survivors' guilt and a strong hatred towards the greedy lords that slain his village and family, he became reclusive, irratable, wanting nothing but solitude. These new personality traits remained with him for almost a decade. In the last few years before he decided to discover the Forbidden Lands, he forced himself to meet people and live in a village, where he was able to socialize once more. He became his new, moderate self then, polite but still curious, cheerful yet fragile to a level.

Backstory:
Zedyne Moonbeam was born into a northern, snowy little fishing-hunting village called Witherwater, under the rule of a small kingdom. His family earned their bread with hunting, tanning leathers and selling pelts to merchants. In his early years Zedyne routinely helped out his mother with the chores and leatherworking, learning some of it by then. On his 9th birthday he was taken out by his father to the wild, where he was taught how to read tracks, hunt, find and identify herbs and spices, chop wood and properly work with the leathers, as well as how to survive in the snowy taiga and tundra his home was consisting of.

His 'training' lasted until he was 18, the year when he was already a well established and trusted Hunter of his village. On his 18th birthday he was given his own little house and the task to survive on his own. Needless to say he did so without a hitch, going as far as helping out his parents and doing things for them as they grew old and weary. For almost four years he lived, thrived and gained not only respect but also wealth.

Shortly before Zedyne's 22nd birthday however, his village has been attacked. It was the last effort of a bordering, bigger kingdom, trying and ransacking everything before its lords fled to the Forbidden Lands, as they realized that they cannot steal anymore with the end of the War.
Witherwater has been burnt to ashes, Zedyne's people were either slain or captured and sold for slavery, all of the village's wealth lost.

Returning from a hunting trip Zedyne only found the remains of the place which he once called home. In one of the hunting hideouts his father used he found his mother, shot by an arrow and dying, but his father was nowehere to be found. His mother, with her last breath, told him to take her amulet and leave, to not come back ever to these wretched lands. Taking her last, dying wish to his heart, Zedyne left those snowy forests he grew up in and began to wander aimlessly, his rage giving him a reason to wield an axe and train himself in using it as a weapon.

Spending weeks in one place at a time, Zedyne's skills and knowledge was tested. Barely, but he managed to survive. For half a decade he wandered, walking across the entirity of the Mainland. Throughout his journey he met with various people, found a lyre and learnt how to play on it, his sorrow of losing everything slowly but surely lifting. He decided to settle down temporarily when he was 26 and remained in the same quaint village for almost 5 years. Only after turning 31 he realized that his mother's last wish was for him to leave the entire continent. Abiding to her last wish, he sought out a way off of the Mainlands. Soon he found a town that sent ships sailing to the Forbidden Lands. 

And thus, Zedyne Moonbeam arrived to the Forbidden Lands, full of hopes and dreams, wanting to establish something that once was, now lost to time. Ready to build everything with his own rugged hands, as well as help people out either with physical work or with soul-lifting lyre music, he is ready to do whatever it takes.


Capabilities:

Hunting, Expert:
Zedyne spent almost his entire life outdoors. He knows how to hunt, how to identify herbs and spices, how to work with the leathers of his fallen prey, as well as generally surviving on his own in the great wilderness.
The extended amounts of time he spent alone, as well as his father's tuition taught him how to move silently, seek out and kill animals with ease, as well as building himself shelters for various periods of time, based on his needs. Sadly, none of these taught him about culture or history...

Combat, Archery, Competent (Proficient):
Using the bow is essential in the life of a Hunter. Zedyne is aware of it and uses his skills to their fullest in his everyday life. He is more than comfortable with the bow and ranged combat therefore. However, he is taught in a different way than an archer soldier is. "Take that, darned wasps!"

Combat, Battle-Axe, Apprentice (Easy):  
Not his main way of combat, Zedyne is still proficient with the use of the battle-axe, if reckless at times. Reminding himself of how evil some people can be, he learnt how to use the axe in battle. Fueled by a deep-rooting hatred, he is determined to defeat those who attack the weak and defenceless, driving him into a berserk like rage. Also used to chop trees - which might as well be his training targets. "Poor trees have never saw that one coming."

Music, Competent (Proficient):
Zedyne has a surprising amount of free time. Besides training his combat skills, he uses it to play on his lyre, one of his most prized possession. He learnt how to play on it by himself, then was taught songs from the various people he met on his travels. He even composed a song on his own, vaguely telling of his own story. Given how he expresses himself - his sorrow - through his lyre, it is a fairly important part of his life. "I am a wanderer, alone~"

Items:
As Zedyne's life depends on the items he carries, he is always prepared. In his roomy backpack he has a fair variety of survival items. These are: a flint & steel, a portable mini furnace, some charcoal for the furnace, beef jerky, some herbal medicine, a roll of bandages, a water canteen, a sleeping roll, a set of knives for various uses, a sewing kit, a wooden plate and metal spoon and fork.
Secured on his back/pack are his combat tools: his trusty bow (with 22 arrows) and his axe (both for woodchopping and combat).
Under his shirt, around his neck is his mother's amulet, always hidden. His lyre is tucked under his cloak.
Zedyne also has some money left on him from the Manilands.

Additional Comments:
Version 2.1, finished and ready for inspection!
Hey Zedyne,

I'll be grading your application as our usual Whitelister, Hutch, has his hands a tad full at the moment.

1. The backstory must END with your character arriving at the Forbidden Lands. The way you currently have your character story set up, he was born on the Forbidden Lands and travels to the Mainland.

Our setting takes place in the Forbidden Lands. Please adjust the story accordingly.

2. I'd like to see more character growth shown. As of now, I know how your character changed physically as he aged but not personality wise. How was he different as a child than how he is now? Please give more elaboration.

3. Finally, your character has too much in the skills department. Please refer to the skill guide here: http://www.mesalia.net/forum/showthread.php?tid=271
Quote:At say 25 you shouldn’t have more then MAYBE a single skill if it was taught exceedingly young, and said tutelage continued along with the accumulation of a great deal of experience.

Something important to note is that your character has 3 advanced skills, 4 apprentice and 2 competent.

Simply put, I'll need you to tone down how strong the character is at the moment. Please remove some skills and reduce how skilled your character is in others.


Thank you for applying to Mesalia! I look forward to the progress with your application! And to hopefully RPing with you in the future.
(07-02-2017, 08:24 AM)FireDog Wrote: [ -> ]Hey Zedyne,

I'll be grading your application as our usual Whitelister, Hutch, has his hands a tad full at the moment.

1. The backstory must END with your character arriving at the Forbidden Lands. The way you currently have your character story set up, he was born on the Forbidden Lands and travels to the Mainland.

Our setting takes place in the Forbidden Lands. Please adjust the story accordingly.

2. I'd like to see more character growth shown. As of now, I know how your character changed physically as he aged but not personality wise. How was he different as a child than how he is now? Please give more elaboration.

3. Finally, your character has too much in the skills department. Please refer to the skill guide here: http://www.mesalia.net/forum/showthread.php?tid=271



Quote:At say 25 you shouldn’t have more then MAYBE a single skill if it was taught exceedingly young, and said tutelage continued along with the accumulation of a great deal of experience.




Something important to note is that your character has 3 advanced skills, 4 apprentice and 2 competent.

Simply put, I'll need you to tone down how strong the character is at the moment. Please remove some skills and reduce how skilled your character is in others.


Thank you for applying to Mesalia! I look forward to the progress with your application! And to hopefully RPing with you in the future.



Application updated, skills re-evaluated and reclassified, additional information about childhood pesonality growth added.
Please inform me if anything else is missing or required.
I would aslo like to note that the updated skills my character has are interwined with one another, therefore cannot be degraded into a level that is going straight against his background story and skillset.
What survivalist won't be able to use a bow and arrow or an axe? Let's not make any jokes here.
On the other hand I made no note of skills that regard anything with culture, history or engineering, to emphasize his obvious lack of anything outside surviving in the wild. In other words: Zedyne is a simple man, blissfully ignorant - but open to learn.

P.s.: Zedyne's personality grew only this much throughout his life because he was exposed for only so much. If you have nothing but nature around you, you won't grow up into a world-famous poet, but into a man who can make do with what is around him.
Back at it again.

1. Skills:
2. Backstory

I need you to put in some elements of the Mesalia lore. With your character's age, be sure to include the more recenet and relevant events. Describe how they changed your character and his family life. If the lore events did not influence your character, why not?
Yesterday I was busy with work, but I spent most of my freetime with thinking about the changes and how I should make everything better.
In conclusion I decided with an overhaul. I read up on the lore and added a couple of my ideas I came up with yesterday. Hopefully the new version will be satisfying.
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