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Full Version: [Accepted] Yukio Goya
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Yukio Goya
[Image: 8iqnvtD.png]
Yamato-no-kami Yasusada of Touken Ranbu. Concept Art. Not my original work.

Age: 17
Gender: Male
Race: Mesalian



Appearance: 
Personality: 
Skills: 
Backstory: 
Held Items: 
Hello, Dark, I'll be getting you through whitelisting.

Your app needs to be related to the server's lore, which can be found here. Being young, your character only really needs the end of the war and dusk portal reopening.

Your app must end with your character arriving in the Forbidden Lands.

That's all I have for you right now. Bump this app when you've made the edits and we'll see where we go from there.
Bumping my dude. Changes are in Bright Blue.
Alright, Dark. Next round.

Only point about the backstory is I still need to see mention of the dusk portal reopening, it wasn't too long after the civil war ended. Given how the Xitians have meddled in the past, it would make sense for their to be some reaction.

Alright, finally just a few things  to address in your skills. Take a look at your 'business' skill's rating and change it to match the scale. We've chosen not to class 'disguises' as a skill, so I'd suggest that it be changed to something like 'Acting', basically the same thing but acceptable. Finally, I'd suggest that you nail down a specific field of science to be skilled in as in general science is a pretty broad term.

And that's it for this round. Bump again when you've made your edits. Seems you're nearly done.
Rectified. Changes still in blue backstory wise. Science changed to Botany. Disguise changed to Acting. Business went down to Apprentice to fit more inline.
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