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+---- Thread: [Whitelisted] Whiteslist Application (/showthread.php?tid=315)
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RE: [Pending] Whiteslist Application - Draoen - 17-08-2013
(17-08-2013, 11:01 AM)Zarkaylia Wrote: Looking better, good job! Now there's just a few details and you'll hopefully be ready to go.
1) You mention he's no killer, yet also mention later that he and his father would kill to steal clothes.
2) Try to add his thoughts to the story. If he as example had to kill people or watch his father kill people after all, what did he think of this? What did he think of what he was taught? How did he take having to leave his first home where he grew up and what did he think of the battles? Etc.
3) You mention at the end that your character ran to the Forbidden Lands. It is a small but important detail that the Forbidden Lands must be reached by ship. So just adjust that too.
Good luck, you're almost there now!
I have removed that he would take out the guards and instead it is his father.
Also that he turns away when his father kills the guards.
I also added some of his thoughts but they are not big.
Added that he must run to port to take a ship to the Forbidden Lands.
RE: [Pending] Whiteslist Application - Zarkaylia - 17-08-2013
I will go ahead and accept your application then whitelist you on the server.
Prepare yourself by reading the rules again, you will be tested, and perhaps the Lore too. Don't be shy to take a look on the official guides too and the guides in progress for useful tips. You will be tested on your roleplay too.
Good luck!