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+---- Thread: [Approved] Smug's Application: (/showthread.php?tid=544)
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RE: [Pending] Smug's Application: - SmugValiant - 09-07-2014
Fixed inconsistencies and timeline errors. Updated some of the old corrections and highlighted the latest fixes in purple.
As for the beat up and alone comment. I always imagined the guards were coming as they spotted the house fire and heard the ruckus, I just forgot to write it in.
Likewise, Dusk Riders is a total error on my part. There was a extra sentence from previous versions of this story that merged with the part in which the duskspawn showed up. Because it wasn't deleted, it made it seem as if there was only one group of riders, when really it was the group of riders being ambushed by duskspawn during the entire fight.
The last one was fixed for being unrealistic and edited. I really liked the title, "tis only a flesh wound."
Ready now for what is hopefully the final revision or acceptance.
RE: [Pending] Smug's Application: - LuckyLeaf - 10-07-2014
Hello again, we're back to this again, and one step away from getting you approved.
Gate to the Dusk Realm: So the gates opened, and the entire realm was holding its breath. It was such a tense moment in history, so much so that the civil war eventually came to a stop in some places. Now, while Stross is sailing around the seven seas all wrapped in his melancholic bliss, he'd still would have heard of the gates opening and how big a deal that is.
So I'd like you to add in that bit into the story; how such events affected Stross, and if they didn't, why not.
Bump the thread when you're done!
RE: [Pending] Smug's Application: - SmugValiant - 10-07-2014
Some parts pertaining to that were already there. I edited in more to reflect this, and highlighted it red for easy reading. I hope these colors don't blind you.
RE: [Pending] Smug's Application: - LuckyLeaf - 10-07-2014