[Accepted] A (fortunate?) return ~ Lyrxi's Version - RagingLunacy - 16-02-2014
Some may already have gotten the hint, but with this post I officially confirm that the Minwu family will be returning.
The journey:
Despite good intentions in their hearts, the journey hasn't been too fruitfull and kind for the family. To Lyrxi, this journey was about helping both friends back at home and one that had already departed. To Jie, this journey felt like a field trip, with the positive and honorable intention of helping friends back in Ravenna.
Lyrxi was unaware at the time that Arua had taken a lot of healing supplies with her as she gathered her belongings and he wasn't present when she filled her bag/satchel with supplies. Due to her belongings fitting well in her bag/satchel, there was no reason to question or even consider it and Lyrxi never asked or put thought in what Arua took with her and left behind.
The trip was taxing at the start due to the limited supply in food that they were able to take with the ongoing famine. Winter, even outside Ravenna, did not make it any easier for them to gether food and they did not have as frequent opportunities to fish as they tried to keep moving to the next village. Once the finally reached their first stop, they were able to trade a bit for more food supplies for their travels.
They made a few stops by what few towns that were along the way to the destination for the delivery Lyrxi had to make. Arua and the twins had left the journey at some point when they had finally found Xemnes again in one of the first towns they visited after leaving Ravenna, having sadly been delayed but not in trouble.
Lyrxi had expected Arua to leave at one point, her intentions for suddenly wanting to join their travels being already pretty clear. The farewell was still as much a touching moment as the reunion as the family did promise to visit now and then when they could after their journey was over and they had returned to their home again.
What civilization they found along the way were unfortunately mostly smaller villages or towns that didn't have much excess supplies to spare for Ravenna, nor the people to allow a trade route to be opened and traders or caravans to be safely escorted to the troubled city. Other villages didn't have the kindest of settlers or leadership, either swift to deny help or understanding while some tried to use the situation with offers and implication of exploitation, something Lyrxi for one did not appreciate too much either.
After a while, they reached the area described be Lady Sidian's map, where they had to depend on its guidance to reach their destination.
They had to resort to finding the landmarks the map pointed out for them, which would lead them to the small secluded village where Lady Sidian's brother would reside. The trail was unfortunately more than an animal trail along the forest, though luckily they were found by one of the hunters of the village before they got lost. The hunter finally led them on a straight path to the village.
While treated neutrally at first, the revelation of who exactly Lyrxi was as mentioned by previous letters and the importance of the delivery he had for the brother, lightened the mood quite a bit.
The village was more of a mixture of Mesalians and Xitians who worked together and helped each other out. The people had varying jobs and skills, diverse enough to have the village be self-sustaining without much reliance on anywhere outside their safely hidden boundaries when it came to surviving.
Lyrxi found himself pleasantly surprised with the treatment of his family at the village, finding a friend in the brother as much as he had found a friend previously in Lady Sidian. This was a welcome change after all the visits to other towns that had went undesirably so far.
The family spent a brief time at the village, before they had to continue their trip again, as Ravenna was still in trouble. Sadly enough this village would have been too far to sent supplies, help or make a trade route with Ravenna. They were at least offered some help for their own journey, to lessen the burden and make it easier for them to last with better supplies for the return trip.
Before they could properly leave the village though, they heard rumors from sailors and travelers of issues that had arisen at a certain old city, in regards to something happening to the crew of one of the few vessels that had frequented its docks and as a result now also had abandoned the city entirely. Despite the lack of details or clarity, due to the inaccuracies of it being told in the form of varied rumors, it was still alarming news for the family as they knew well enough that this only had made the situation for Ravenna worse.
Lady Sidian's brother had ensured that they would have plenty of supplies to let them continue their journey and eventually reach Ravenna safely again. As a 'payment' for the delivery Lyrxi made to him or perhaps merely out of admiration for the chef's skill while Lyrxi was at the village, the brother gifted Lyrxi with a set of knifes to help him with his future work a bit better than his old serrated knife had so far.
Thanks to directions they had gotten in the village, they managed to reach a port town to speed up their return trip. At this port, they caught word of a town that was connected relatively 'close' to Ravenna by sea that had suddenly increased considerably in population. With the time that had passed and the trouble Ravenna was in from the start, it was a strong sign... but not confirmed. Though they hardly had traveled far in the forbidden lands as the towns they visited were roughly between Ravenna and the town where Lady Sidian's brother resided, the town was the next destination they'd stop by before they would be returning to Ravenna.
The family would be in for a (pleasant?) surprise on their arrival.
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Lyrxi:
Details:
Name: Lyrxi Minwu
Gender: Male
Race: Mesalian
Age: 38 (Started at 27)
Birthday: 14th
Height: 5'8 ft (1,70m)
Weight: 143 lbs (65kg)
Appearance
Eye Color:
Sky Blue
Hair Color:
Black
Hair Style:
Long and usually kept in a braid. Front is parted in the middle to the sides.
Body Type:
Deceptively light yet somewhat fit build, favoring agility while still having honed in other aspects to not let them become weaknesses. Despite not being a muscled or beefy as the mighty warrior or experienced lumberjack/miner, still seemingly sturdy and trained enough to be able to take some blows and return some strength in kind behind any dealt physical blows.
Changes to Description after the journey:
Lyrxi has hardly changed in any noticeable way from before his journey, in terms of permanent changes at least. The journey however has left Lyrxi apologetic, the second part of their journey having ended in failure as they had been unable to get any help at all for their friends, all the while unknowing how they were faring since their absence. He hopes he can be forgiven for leaving, should people have held a grudge over that, especially with how he was unable to fulfill the promise to get help.
Traits:
Positive:
-Humble.
-Generally behaves and converses in polite and/or formal ways to people.
-Tends to be forgiving or understanding of others and their mannerisms, deeds and possible impolite behaviour or speech... Within reason though.
-Doesn't shy away from initiating conversation if he wishes to.
-Optimistic but serious when needed.
Neutral:
-Can get very focussed at times, which has both merits and handicaps depending on the time and situation.
-Has become more of a part to the group, which affected some of his control over himself, for better or worse.
-Is very protective of Dusken when it comes down to possible harm or illness, for better or worse.
-He still leans more to treating Xitians favorably, but is wise enough to not be foolish about it.
Negative:
-Has no experience, let alone interest, in combat involving weaponry. Sticks to martial arts.
-His formal mannerisms in terms of speech may be misunderstood by some as him simply being stuck-up rather than polite.
-Still has some difficulty giving multiple people conversing with him equal attention and responses.
Effects from the journey:
Personality:
Lingering effects are minimal from the journey and thus Lyrxi remains pretty much the same as before his departure. Enough villages and towns had valid reasons and proof of their inability to help, while the bad cases only steeled his resolve more to find a way to help out Ravenna's people.
The immediate return of the Minwu's might be tiring for Lyrxi, most likely still feeling apologetic and a disappointed that he couldn't get any help, even if the people are now better off in general.
Skill-related:
Lyrxi did pick up on a few new tricks, ideas, inspiration and handy recipes during some of his stops. As a clear example, he learned a few more things worth saving from a butchered animal, one of which he was honestly surprised: blood. He even learned how to prepare it into blood/black pudding.
Items/Equipment at the end of the journey:
Lyrxi:
-He still has his trusty satchel.
-A set of knives for cooking: A standard Knife, a Filet Knife, a Serrated Knife, a Sharp Knife and a 'Potato Knife'.
-A Waterskin and Vial.
-A Desert Robe.
-Fishing Pole.
-Varied collection of several herb seeds, refreshed from during the journey.
-Wooden Skewers and a Wooden Ladle.
-A golden ring, part of a pair.
Shared stuff:
-Camping set: The Flame-patterned tent.
-Bedrolls.
-A cooking pot.
RE: [NEW] A (fortunate?) return - Hutchy - 22-02-2014
alright, RL, the feedback is cooked to perfection.
- We are not given a clear reason why they left. Lyrxi put a lot of effort into the town, being one of the few sources of prepared food and a councilor, why would he leave on such short notice to deliver a package? Was there no one else able to do so? Please elaborate.
- We do not see a lot of detail in this part of the returning post, where it is more thoroughly described in Dusken’s return post. Since this looks like a large part of their time away, there needs to be more detail of when and where the two groups split up and Lyrxi and Jie’s view on it.
- Was Lyrxi not aware that Arua packed up the entirety of the town’s medical supplies and took them with her, leaving two injured and sick people to fend for themselves? We aren’t given any indication if he knew or if he had any views on this. Bear in mind that it is highly unlikely that he’d miss a town’s worth of medical supplies being taken. Please elaborate on this point.
- ‘‘they caught word of a town relatively close enough to Ravenna suddenly increasing considerably in population’ I’m assuming you’re referring to Alroc, the new setting. Alroc is not close to Ravenna at all, it took an entire month by sea of IC time to get there from Ravenna. This rumour would have to travel very quickly to reach their ear in such a short time.
This also applies here,
Luckily however, the town was one of the last places they'd stop by before returning to Ravenna.’ this implies that they have managed to do an entire round trip of the Forbidden Lands, with barely any incident, in just under 6 IC months, which simply isn’t possible. Please revise this, taking into consideration the short length of time they have been away and how long it took the others to move.
- Lastly, Jie will need his own thread. This confusion was the result of a miscommunication for which we are very sorry. If you prefer that I hold off from further review until this thread has been made, just let me know here.
Bump the thread when you're done with the edits and we'll continue.
RE: [Pending] A (fortunate?) return ~ Lyrxi's Version - RagingLunacy - 26-02-2014
The post has been updated and a second thread has been placed for Jie.
I do have to comment on that the 1st point you made is invalid due to the fact that it is mentioned several times in the journey description as to their goal and reasons why they left.
The 2nd point is vague and doesn't explain to me well as to which parts are an issue, but I changed and elaborated where I could so far.
I have also elaborated on Arua's supplies, even though this part comes over as redundant to me because it stays to the point that Lyrxi did NOT know. He never checked Arua's bags, or what she all took because he felt no reason to suddenly play stock-taker on her belongings.
on the 4th point, I made a change in my wording, but it comes down to the fact that there is no map out there of the forbidden lands and about no lore or mention of the towns in the Forbidden Lands, so I have to go vague here regardless and use terms like 'relatively' just to get past it and continue the story.
As for the 5th point, as commented at the start of this post, it has been taken care of.
RE: [Pending] A (fortunate?) return ~ Lyrxi's Version - Zarkaylia - 01-03-2014
Haithere. I got a few points for you to address RL.
The journey's effect
I hate to say it, but this should be more of a fair give-and-take. You wish for your character to return with new items and some fresh additions to skill while there seem to be little to no effect of the long and hard journey on him. I am not saying there have to be anything drastic or life changing, but a long and hard journey like this (with absolutely certainly about 3ish months in the wild defending against Dusk and somehow gathering food for themselves) with a goal that ultimately failed should at least leave more of the temporary effects than just feeling sorry. More mention of this would be preferred. Again I remind you; I'm not asking for anything permanent or life changing. Just an acknowledgement of the journey taking place at all.
(I have a hunch that above is related to Hutchy's earlier point 2 that refers to more detail)
Remove this:
Quote:Lyrxi has hardly changed in any noticeable way from before his journey, having been able to stay himself most likely due to age, experience and focus.
And I'm sorry to say, above quote doesn't work for me (I play a char over a decade older and still wouldn't try to say that life has no effect on her because she's old and experienced). I'm just gonna ask that you remove this part though and focus on the "effect of the journey" part.
Leaving circumstances
Related to above, there's little or no consideration for the leaving circumstances. I'm referring to:
1) End of winter - early spring. It had in the old setting been stated already that the hunting was null in the area. Combined with:
2) Lack of food supplies. Ravenna was already starving. The Minwu's likely took some, but there's also a reason why escaping Ravenna by foot was NOT an option for the chars in the setting. The supplies wouldn't last.
While I'm aware that the leave was necessary, above shouldn't be ignored.
RE: [Pending] A (fortunate?) return ~ Lyrxi's Version - Zarkaylia - 06-03-2014
I think Lyrxi's all good now, RL.
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