09-06-2013, 04:34 PM
Hi Classik, and welcome to Mesalia! I’m 3llusive, and I’ll be handling your application. There are some areas where your application could be improved, so before you can be accepted there’s some work that we’re going to need to do.
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1. More overall detail is required in your backstory. Your backstory currently is very vague as to your character’s experiences during his life. Try to elaborate on what you currently have to explain how different events or jobs affected Rowan personally, and perhaps his immediate family. Additionally, you may want to include detail on how growing up was for him, and other details that might give him more depth.
2.Please include more lore relation in your backstory. In your backstory you don’t give any indication of current events of server lore which may play a very large role in shaping who Rowan is.
Please revise your application to reflect the current lore of the server. You can find the server lore here: (http://www.mesalia.net/lore.html).
This means possibly alluding to the purges, the civil wars, and other recent events. Make sure to include how these events affected your character, and if they didn’t affect him, why they didn’t. Also please be sure to end your backstory with Rowan’s journey to the forbidden lands, as it is the current setting of the server. Please follow the instructions of this thread (http://www.mesalia.net/forum/showthread.php?tid=143 ) for more information on that topic.
3. Your character lacks a defined personality. Besides enjoying nature, you don’t really define just who Rowan is. I’d like to see a revision of your backstory that fleshes him out as a person, with thoughts, ideas, experiences, and growth throughout his life. I do understand sometimes that it can be hard to work a character’s personality into a backstory, So I would encourage you to include a personality section as well. Please refrain from simply listing personality traits. A description of his personality will offer us much more insight into him.
4. Please be more clear about your character’s skills. It appears as if you refer to mining and blacksmithing as the same profession. This is somewhat of a confusing point in your application and needs revision. In addition, your backstory mentions a few jobs, such as travelling in a circus, or railroad work, that may or may not add to his list of skills. So please revise his skills to be more accurate in relation to your backstory. Staff needs this from you to have a reference for your character. Also, in revising your skills I’d encourage you to try and follow the system we have in place for them to make review of your application easier.
Generally the system we follow here goes something like this:
Novice(1-2 years)>Apprentice(3-4 years)>Competent(5-9 years)>Advanced(10-14 years)>Expert(15 years+)>Master(20 years+)
Notice that each level of mastery implies time spent learning the skill. Bear in mind that “1 year” of learning the skill implies total dedication to improvement of said skill.
As a reference, ‘Competent’ skill level is generally accepted to be the average skill level of someone who does a skill professionally.
5. Lastly, I’d like to bring up that you referenced ‘Mesalia’ as a location in your backstory. Mesalia is an OOC term used to describe the fictional world in which this RP takes place. See this thread for more info: (http://www.mesalia.net/forum/showthread.php?tid=65)
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That’s everything this round, good luck with your revisions.
3llusive
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1. More overall detail is required in your backstory. Your backstory currently is very vague as to your character’s experiences during his life. Try to elaborate on what you currently have to explain how different events or jobs affected Rowan personally, and perhaps his immediate family. Additionally, you may want to include detail on how growing up was for him, and other details that might give him more depth.
2.Please include more lore relation in your backstory. In your backstory you don’t give any indication of current events of server lore which may play a very large role in shaping who Rowan is.
Please revise your application to reflect the current lore of the server. You can find the server lore here: (http://www.mesalia.net/lore.html).
This means possibly alluding to the purges, the civil wars, and other recent events. Make sure to include how these events affected your character, and if they didn’t affect him, why they didn’t. Also please be sure to end your backstory with Rowan’s journey to the forbidden lands, as it is the current setting of the server. Please follow the instructions of this thread (http://www.mesalia.net/forum/showthread.php?tid=143 ) for more information on that topic.
3. Your character lacks a defined personality. Besides enjoying nature, you don’t really define just who Rowan is. I’d like to see a revision of your backstory that fleshes him out as a person, with thoughts, ideas, experiences, and growth throughout his life. I do understand sometimes that it can be hard to work a character’s personality into a backstory, So I would encourage you to include a personality section as well. Please refrain from simply listing personality traits. A description of his personality will offer us much more insight into him.
4. Please be more clear about your character’s skills. It appears as if you refer to mining and blacksmithing as the same profession. This is somewhat of a confusing point in your application and needs revision. In addition, your backstory mentions a few jobs, such as travelling in a circus, or railroad work, that may or may not add to his list of skills. So please revise his skills to be more accurate in relation to your backstory. Staff needs this from you to have a reference for your character. Also, in revising your skills I’d encourage you to try and follow the system we have in place for them to make review of your application easier.
Generally the system we follow here goes something like this:
Novice(1-2 years)>Apprentice(3-4 years)>Competent(5-9 years)>Advanced(10-14 years)>Expert(15 years+)>Master(20 years+)
Notice that each level of mastery implies time spent learning the skill. Bear in mind that “1 year” of learning the skill implies total dedication to improvement of said skill.
As a reference, ‘Competent’ skill level is generally accepted to be the average skill level of someone who does a skill professionally.
5. Lastly, I’d like to bring up that you referenced ‘Mesalia’ as a location in your backstory. Mesalia is an OOC term used to describe the fictional world in which this RP takes place. See this thread for more info: (http://www.mesalia.net/forum/showthread.php?tid=65)
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That’s everything this round, good luck with your revisions.
3llusive