19-10-2014, 04:40 PM
Hey Demo, Leaf here, and no worries, I'm here to review your app.
Anatomical blacksmithery: I saw this bit in the description of your character that apparently Gwideon has a very good understanding of basic human anatomy. I imagine you meant this knowledge to be on par with knowledge anyone has as a bit common sense, (like when you get stabbed in the heart, you die) but for the sake of clarity, please clarify what you mean by this.
Neutral Grounds: So, I'll just point out this little mistake here. There is no kingdom that is near both portals. The portals themselves are quite a distance apart, and the grounds between them are neutral grounds. So while it's possible that Gwideon's kingdom could have been near one portal, it's impossible for it to have been near both of them.
Work these two out. They're the only issues as of the moment; shouldn't take too long I don't think.
-=oOo=-
Anatomical blacksmithery: I saw this bit in the description of your character that apparently Gwideon has a very good understanding of basic human anatomy. I imagine you meant this knowledge to be on par with knowledge anyone has as a bit common sense, (like when you get stabbed in the heart, you die) but for the sake of clarity, please clarify what you mean by this.
Neutral Grounds: So, I'll just point out this little mistake here. There is no kingdom that is near both portals. The portals themselves are quite a distance apart, and the grounds between them are neutral grounds. So while it's possible that Gwideon's kingdom could have been near one portal, it's impossible for it to have been near both of them.
-=oOo=-
Work these two out. They're the only issues as of the moment; shouldn't take too long I don't think.