19-10-2016, 06:14 AM
Hey Khanh,
I don’t know about that apology. I’m still kind of mad. On one hand, I’m trying to become a merchant, so you’re right. But on the other hand, fuck you, no one likes you, I wish you were adopted.
I’m kidding! Maybe.
Sorry, the millionth sorry, for not writing lately. Again. I mean, I’m mad, but also not much to write on. Not much you’d want to hear about, anyways. Just dumb drama. Like I wrote a song for Kane and he blew up at me, big time, but we sort of made up. Don’t worry. He didn’t blow up, as in hit me. But for a second, I don’t know. I’m glad Zaira was there. And we really did just talk it out. Oh, and the Elder came back. She basically said no because Nerissa just got the job and even though she screwed it it’s not nice to just take it away after she just got it. True. I wish I had never asked though because even though she said that I just feel shit. Just kidding. Maybe.
Something big happened a while ago and I guess maybe I wasn’t writing because I wanted to talk about it with you, but at the same time I didn’t. It’s about Terry Riggs. I don't know where to begin. I guess I'll start with, he's dead. Like 99 percent chance of dead. One day I just went to visit him in the clinic and he just wasn't there any more. Asked the Elder about it. She said he was probably feeling better and out hunting. That was a long time ago. When the Elder came back we talked about it. She changed story, and thinks he probably went down to his sickness.
It’s weird, Khanh. I kind of feel a whole lot of nothing about it. Maybe because I knew it was coming? Maybe because I got to ease into it all slowly, then all at once. Or maybe, it just hasn’t hit me yet. I don’t know. I keep thinking about how it all seemed to happen in a bubble, like it could have nearly just been a part of my imagination because no one else really knew him, and I didn’t really talk about him to anyone else because of that. The only person I really talked about him to is maybe you, and the Elder, Zarkaylia.
I didn’t talk much to her when we talked about him not coming back. I guess, I don’t know, I was kind of mad that she changed stories. But I guess it’s not really her fault, it’s not like she knew the truth. And I guess if she did, she was just trying to let me down gently, or something. I kind of just said ‘ok’ and went back to doing stupid shit like teaching Kane how to dance. It’s weirdly easy acting like nothing happened but I guess in a way nothing did in that nothing happened to anyone else. Gods, I sound so dramatic right now. This is why I just don’t need to talk about this to anyone here. Don’t get me wrong. I do have to talk about it, but that’s why I’m talking to you. Only, I don’t know what else I should be talking about.
I haven’t gone out looking for proof. I’m kind of scared of what I’ll find. Fuck, I’m kind of scared of just going out into the woods for exploring and finding him on accident. And I guess I think he would’ve wanted it to be like this. You know, I don’t see what he looks like dead so I can remember him alive, or something. Khanh, what was it like when grandpa died? I mean, I know I was there but all I remember was grandma saying he was sleeping and I said, ‘but he looks dead’ and everyone lost their shit because Tuan wasn’t supposed to tell me what being dead meant.
I try to remember the better times with him because I think that’s what you’re supposed to do when someone dies, but I don’t know. All I keep thinking about is the last time I talked to him and how stupid it was. I kept talking to him about the treasure hunt like nothing was going to happen to him because it was all I wanted to believe, that nothing was going to change. And I bet he hated it. I think that’s all I had to get off my chest, but preemptively I want to say that no, I don’t need to go visit you guys again. I’m fine, really. It just stinks. This stinks.
Love,
Lien
I don’t know about that apology. I’m still kind of mad. On one hand, I’m trying to become a merchant, so you’re right. But on the other hand, fuck you, no one likes you, I wish you were adopted.
I’m kidding! Maybe.
Sorry, the millionth sorry, for not writing lately. Again. I mean, I’m mad, but also not much to write on. Not much you’d want to hear about, anyways. Just dumb drama. Like I wrote a song for Kane and he blew up at me, big time, but we sort of made up. Don’t worry. He didn’t blow up, as in hit me. But for a second, I don’t know. I’m glad Zaira was there. And we really did just talk it out. Oh, and the Elder came back. She basically said no because Nerissa just got the job and even though she screwed it it’s not nice to just take it away after she just got it. True. I wish I had never asked though because even though she said that I just feel shit. Just kidding. Maybe.
Something big happened a while ago and I guess maybe I wasn’t writing because I wanted to talk about it with you, but at the same time I didn’t. It’s about Terry Riggs. I don't know where to begin. I guess I'll start with, he's dead. Like 99 percent chance of dead. One day I just went to visit him in the clinic and he just wasn't there any more. Asked the Elder about it. She said he was probably feeling better and out hunting. That was a long time ago. When the Elder came back we talked about it. She changed story, and thinks he probably went down to his sickness.
It’s weird, Khanh. I kind of feel a whole lot of nothing about it. Maybe because I knew it was coming? Maybe because I got to ease into it all slowly, then all at once. Or maybe, it just hasn’t hit me yet. I don’t know. I keep thinking about how it all seemed to happen in a bubble, like it could have nearly just been a part of my imagination because no one else really knew him, and I didn’t really talk about him to anyone else because of that. The only person I really talked about him to is maybe you, and the Elder, Zarkaylia.
I didn’t talk much to her when we talked about him not coming back. I guess, I don’t know, I was kind of mad that she changed stories. But I guess it’s not really her fault, it’s not like she knew the truth. And I guess if she did, she was just trying to let me down gently, or something. I kind of just said ‘ok’ and went back to doing stupid shit like teaching Kane how to dance. It’s weirdly easy acting like nothing happened but I guess in a way nothing did in that nothing happened to anyone else. Gods, I sound so dramatic right now. This is why I just don’t need to talk about this to anyone here. Don’t get me wrong. I do have to talk about it, but that’s why I’m talking to you. Only, I don’t know what else I should be talking about.
I haven’t gone out looking for proof. I’m kind of scared of what I’ll find. Fuck, I’m kind of scared of just going out into the woods for exploring and finding him on accident. And I guess I think he would’ve wanted it to be like this. You know, I don’t see what he looks like dead so I can remember him alive, or something. Khanh, what was it like when grandpa died? I mean, I know I was there but all I remember was grandma saying he was sleeping and I said, ‘but he looks dead’ and everyone lost their shit because Tuan wasn’t supposed to tell me what being dead meant.
I try to remember the better times with him because I think that’s what you’re supposed to do when someone dies, but I don’t know. All I keep thinking about is the last time I talked to him and how stupid it was. I kept talking to him about the treasure hunt like nothing was going to happen to him because it was all I wanted to believe, that nothing was going to change. And I bet he hated it. I think that’s all I had to get off my chest, but preemptively I want to say that no, I don’t need to go visit you guys again. I’m fine, really. It just stinks. This stinks.
Love,
Lien