10-01-2017, 04:22 PM
Hello, Tig. Zarkaylia here to grade your second character application.
1) Ethanol
Read the following closely before playing a healing or its like character: https://www.mesalia.net/forum/showthread.php?tid=31 That's the herbalism lore. Ethanol is not common for that purpose, distilled birch is.
2) Expert skill
This is not justified and quite a far stretch even for a prodigy. Further, for the sake of your future RPing, lower this to at most advanced. Competent is recommended.
3) Generalized assumptions on the Veld War
"Southern front" and simillar assumptions of the war when it involved a whole Realm is not viable. Either alter the phrasing or limit the area you're referring to.
4) Rebel child soldiers were common
A part of your story assumes that children fighting in the war was considered bad or unusual. Sadly, these wars were so desperate there were just no room to be picky. Any Mesalian able to help, regardless of age, helped. This was a fight for freedom of an entire race and Realm after all.
5) Random alliance
You suddenly mention an alliance. What alliance?
6) Orphans of the civil war
Again, this is a far stretch. Add to the Veld War 30 years of slavery and orphans were a much more likely sight than after the Civil Wars. Whilst the Civiil Wars affected many nations it wasn't race-wide.
7) Tutoring
We generally say that tutoring is fairly common to start as early as 7 years of age since many are expected to see apprenticeship before being adults and practising their skills somewhere between 15-18 years of age. I just like to point it out since you state it's uncommon in a seemingly general manner. If you just mean for the Crimson Order (which make sense), don't mind this point.
Good luck
Any other terms and conditions for your second char you already got in private. Bump this thread when you've updated.
1) Ethanol
Read the following closely before playing a healing or its like character: https://www.mesalia.net/forum/showthread.php?tid=31 That's the herbalism lore. Ethanol is not common for that purpose, distilled birch is.
2) Expert skill
This is not justified and quite a far stretch even for a prodigy. Further, for the sake of your future RPing, lower this to at most advanced. Competent is recommended.
3) Generalized assumptions on the Veld War
"Southern front" and simillar assumptions of the war when it involved a whole Realm is not viable. Either alter the phrasing or limit the area you're referring to.
4) Rebel child soldiers were common
A part of your story assumes that children fighting in the war was considered bad or unusual. Sadly, these wars were so desperate there were just no room to be picky. Any Mesalian able to help, regardless of age, helped. This was a fight for freedom of an entire race and Realm after all.
5) Random alliance
You suddenly mention an alliance. What alliance?
6) Orphans of the civil war
Again, this is a far stretch. Add to the Veld War 30 years of slavery and orphans were a much more likely sight than after the Civil Wars. Whilst the Civiil Wars affected many nations it wasn't race-wide.
7) Tutoring
We generally say that tutoring is fairly common to start as early as 7 years of age since many are expected to see apprenticeship before being adults and practising their skills somewhere between 15-18 years of age. I just like to point it out since you state it's uncommon in a seemingly general manner. If you just mean for the Crimson Order (which make sense), don't mind this point.
Good luck
Any other terms and conditions for your second char you already got in private. Bump this thread when you've updated.