[__J_Nope__]

<color option="#a3a3a2" style="color: #a3a3a2;"><size option="small" style="font-size:small"><i><b>In Game Name (IGN): __J_Nope__</b></i></size></color><br />
<color option="#a3a3a2" style="color: #a3a3a2;"><size option="small" style="font-size:small"><i><b>How did you find us? (Forums, friend, previous member, etc…): Found this group from a forum discussing good rp servers.</b></i></size></color><br />
<color option="#a3a3a2" style="color: #a3a3a2;"><i><size option="small" style="font-size:small"><b>About You: My name is Eve and I like to roleplay, evidently. I really love the sound of the game's lore. Haven't found anything about if this is even still running and haven't seen posts that aren't from </b><b>October</b><b> or older</b><b>, so I</b><b> hope i'm not posting for nothing.</b></size></i></color><align option="center" style="text-align: center;"><b><size option="large" style="font-size:large">CHARACTER INFORMATION</size></b></align><br />
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<color option="#a3a3a2" style="color: #a3a3a2;"><size option="small" style="font-size:small"><i><b>Name:  Torianna (Tori) Lucien</b></i></size></color><br />
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<color option="#a3a3a2" style="color: #a3a3a2;"><size option="small" style="font-size:small"><i><b>Age:  Fifteen</b></i></size></color><br />
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<color option="#a3a3a2" style="color: #a3a3a2;"><size option="small" style="font-size:small"><i><b>Gender:  Female</b></i></size></color><br />
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<color option="#a3a3a2" style="color: #a3a3a2;"><size option="small" style="font-size:small"><i><b>Appearance: With pale blonde hair and fair skin, the one thing that stands out about her is her eyes. Murky green like the swamp, her eyes are the first thing a person would be drawn to when they meet her. She wears a cloak that is of similar coloration to her eyes and usually keeps the hood up.</b></i></size></color><br />
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<color option="#a3a3a2" style="color: #a3a3a2;"><size option="small" style="font-size:small"><i><b>Personality: Stern but still fun-loving and friendly, Torianna is an aspiring fighter and athlete. She does have a bit of a temper, but usually can control it unless her loved-ones are being threatened or harmed. She was raised to take pain and has often ignored injuries a layman might be concerned about. She is still in training though, so she does have her weaknesses. She isn't the greatest at making recoveries from under the blade yet, but may be soon. </b></i></size></color><br />
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<color option="#a3a3a2" style="color: #a3a3a2;"><size option="small" style="font-size:small"><i><b>Backstory: Born a year after the civil war ended, Torianna doesn't remember much about it. However, she was walking and almost talking by the time the Dusk Gate opened in 35AV. Her mother died a few weeks afterwards, being caught in a corner of the woods by a Spider Rider. Tori's father was a colonel during the war and commanded her around like a footsoldier. She was sent to train for the army almost as soon as she had learned all her father wanted her to, at the age of seven. She trained at many schools, transferring each time she either picked a fight or her father's job took them elsewhere, but always loving her training. Now, though, at age 15, she was old enough to choose her school for herself, travel alone, and control her temper. She looked at an array of schools before picking out a lovely sounding one in Nightveil. She boarded a cart and rode to the docks, getting on a boat to sail to Nightveil.</b></i></size></color><br />
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<color option="#a3a3a2" style="color: #a3a3a2;"><size option="small" style="font-size:small"><i><b>Capabilities: Acrobatics (Competent) , Climbing (Competent) , Swordfighting (Apprentice)</b></i></size></color><br />
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<color option="#a3a3a2" style="color: #a3a3a2;"><size option="small" style="font-size:small"><i><b>Items: A ration of bread, a notebook, and a lightweight sword.</b></i></size></color><br />
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<color option="#a3a3a2" style="color: #a3a3a2;"><size option="small" style="font-size:small"><i><b>Additional Comments: Cuts on her chest and abdomen from sword training, not like anyone in roleplay would get a chance to know though.</b></i></size></color>

[JackdawGrey]

Hello Eve and welcome to Mesalia! We are absolutely still running and glad to see you interested in joining us. I'm JackdawGrey, and I'll be filling in for the usual app guys (with the admin's approval, see Zarkaylia for questions) by taking a look at your application today. So far you have the beginnings of a good application, but there are just a few things I'd like to work on before we give this the ol' seal of approval.

1: Backstory. Torianna's backstory is very brief and itemized, it would help immensely if you could elaborate more on the details. I liked the lore relation and dates you tied in, but we can touch up on that further to really express the character. Examples and suggestions are: How did she feel about different events and how specifically did they change her? Or maybe go in more detail about her parent's personalities and backgrounds, and the background of the place or places she lived. It has an Army, it has a problem with dusk creatures roaming in the woods, but what else about this place can lend the character some depth? Note that the world of Mesalia isn't a unified place, most of our characters have different homelands with different influences on their backgrounds.

2: Skills. This is one of the big problems we have on Mesalia, and one I often get corrected on in my own character applications. The skills need to reflect the age of the character according to the skill guide found here: ( http://www.mesalia.net/forum/showthread.php?tid=271 ) I would advise bumping down one of her two "competent" skills to "apprentice" or lower, as she is only 15 and hasn't had the time to hone two professional level skills.

3: Items. I could use some more detail about the sword she's bringing with her. What type of sword is it? What material? Is it quality? We use in-game items to represent roleplay props rather than use their mechanics (for example: a gold sword does not exist in roleplay).

Once you have these edited, just post a reply in this thread and we'll take a look at your edits! You can let me know if you have any questions by replying here or sending me a forum PM, and I'll try to reply as quickly as possible. I hope I've been helpful with this information, and I'm looking forward to seeing your edit!

[Hutchy]

Trashed due to inactivuty. Feel free to reapply.