[RiverKelly]

Name: Lyubitska Esmerelda Remana / Elizabeth Claire Valentine
Gender: Female
Age: 31 (26th, odd number months)
Height: 70 Inches
Weight: 150 Lbs.
Hair Color: Amber Red (Wavy-Curly) (Waist Length)
Eye Color: Shadow Blue (Grey)
Skin Tone: Rosy Fair, Lightly Freckled, Tanned. Soft & Silky where not Scarred.
Figure: Full, Curvy, very Fit.
Body Language: Bold, Tall, very Confident, Flirty even. Yet also warm, with a Soft Gaze and Cautious Mannerisms.

CURRENT MOOD: Shaken. Unsteady. Not ready to give any more. She is hurt and frustrated. She feels alone. She seeks comfort. Now she is finally ready to stop trying to help everyone, and let people try and help her instead.

Backstory:

Spoiler

Lyubitska Esmerelda Remana was born twenty five years ago to a hunter and his wife, in a nomadic tribe of xitian-speaking former slaves who escaped the xitians without a fight during a major battle. The tribe was known for backwards and pacifist beliefs and she was raised according to them. She took an early interest in the tribal elder’s teachings, but never fully fit in with her tribe due to a strong sense for logic and rationalized thinking. Like most girls in the tribe, she grew up learning about balance, nature, beauty, and art. She learned how to dye her hair for festivities, how to decorate herself with the tribal tattoos, how to dance and sing, and how to be kind and comforting to the hurt people she would meet.. But she always wanted to build something. She wanted to use the logic she was born with to add to the world instead of simply traveling from place to place enjoying it.

At barely fourteen years old she started seeking out knowledge in mechanical engineering with every chance she could find, her father never approved of it. But at the age of fifteen he did let her start studying under an old noble lucin engineering master in the nearby town under the condition that she learned to shoot a bow, having no trust for the old noble. Two years later at the age of seventeen she had started to get a handle on speaking the common trade language instead of the xitian her tribe still spoke, and her father was satisfied with her progress with his bow, so she moved in with the master engineer to live as his apprentice and study full time. She studied hard, constantly, the elder man not only taught her about machinery, but about the formalities that must be observed by someone in a noble’s household.. She lived a daily routine of study, chores, and formal schooling, for several years to come, determined to learn all she could.

Shortly before her twentieth birthday an argument resulted in Lyubitska leaving her tribe for good, the master engineer adopted her into his household permanently and gave her a noble name in the trade language. She was now Elizabeth Claire Valentine. She took it surprisingly well, learning to love her teacher like a second father, and conformed to the change. Her mechanical abilities grew, and she started making a comfortable place for herself. She started reading endless books with her spare time, and even took in a stray cat to put her care into, instead of just spending days studying or arguing with people in the tribe. Determined to grow from her tribal roots at this point she started working on a mechanical crossbow to use in place of her father's tribal hunting bow.

But as the years wore on the civil wars continued to spread. Even here, unrest grew. All across the regions locals began searching for xitian spies like the witch hunts of old. Because she spoke xitian, and had such distinctive red hair, some locals began to believe Elizabeth was a spy in the town spreading unrest. The rumors continued to build until a small mob of the spy hunters came to the house and attacked her shortly before her twenty fifth birthday. Her master defended her but he was old and frail and he couldn’t hold back the mob. She was beaten brutally, and forced into chains for days before she was finally released, after which the abused woman gathered her pet cat, and all her things and fled without looking back at the town that betrayed her, giving the master who took her in little more than her best and most loving good bye in return for all he gave her. She lived paranoid of another incident like that, until eventually she boarded a ship that was supposed to be heading a place where people could be free from those burdens. A ship heading for the forbidden lands. She traveled with no companion except for her loyal but spoiled cat, a demanding creature named Reiko that got most of her attentions during this dark part of her life where she had no work and no friends. They stopped at town after town, but she didn’t want to get off at any populated place. So she waited until they found an old light house, and she got off there, following the river inland in hopes of finding a small quiet village or town.

Description:
She stands at a decently tall seventy inches and has fiery thigh-length amber red hair that falls in wavy curls, she often dyes it, usually down to a darker autumn color, and even sometimes lighter pinks. She has a curvy and agile figure with lean muscles built up from a lot of moving around and climbing through tight spaces. She has fair rosy skin with a light splash of freckles across her cheeks and nose. She usually keeps a fair posture and gives off an impression of being energetic despite occasional sleeping problems, and tries her best to keep a decent appearance.

She has tattoos on her arms, spanning from her forearms all the way up to her shoulders. They are in black designs of symmetrical curving lines and swirls, red and blue wave and flow patterns, and finally grey feather and wing patterns, the tattoos have been built up quite extensively over the years, yet are all very obsessively organized and neat, with lots of attention paid to simple symmetry. Jagged scars across her arms disrupt the tattoos with soft pink cut marks.

Description Changes:
She's grown very fit and lean, cutting some of her softness away but lending healthy muscle. She isn't she hulk, she's still very womanly, but she isn't the weak and innocent girl she was when she first came to Ravenna anymore.

Scars:
-Jagged slashing and shredding scars across both forearms.
-Jagged stab scar above right breast.
-Shrapnel scars all across left side of torso, thigh, and arm.
-Deep graze scar on outer left thigh.
-Numerous other unrecorded various graze and skirmish scars.

Elizabeth's Personality:
Elizabeth is a very extroverted and bold person by nature thanks to her tribal roots, usually energetic and eager.. But the abuse she found during the civil war gave her some cautious mannerisms and distrusting behavior. She is good at looking at the bright side and enjoying her time, but always careful not to let herself slip up too much around strangers. Her downfall is easily her bold and some times stubborn behavior, she can be easily manipulated into things she wouldn't normally do just by taunting or tempting her drive to achieve, explore, and do everything she can.

Personality Changes:
Sidian has put her through xitian boot camp, she has been tempered into a much more decisive and confident person, she is less squeamish and easily frightened now, slightly more disciplined, and a lot stronger in spirit. She was always inspired by Zarkaylia and Thomas, they saved her life several times and always seemed so capable. She had been sparring and practicing with Thomas before she left him, she wanted to learn to fight and often spoke of joining the guard, but the warrior spirit was something she had to earn out in the harsh desert with Sidian rather then in the comfort and protection of town.

Reiko’s Personality:
The black coated cat is very quiet and introverted, but bold enough to prove demanding and needy. It keeps to itself most of the time, but whenever it wants something it is not afraid to make it known.. The cat has been well cared for by Elizabeth since it was a kitten and is now about nine years old, and very loving of its care taker.

Relations:

DISCLAIMER:
A /lot/ of these relationships have a few secrets attached to them that I can't reveal publicly as of yet for fear of meta, so please accept that these are not 100% accurate, as some key information has been left out. Thanks.

William: Close Friend. Attracted.
He didn't deserve anything. Anything! Tragedy follows him like his shadow, and the best man I know is always stuck facing grief he doesn't deserve. I could blame a lot of people, and I do. I blame everyone involved. I blame all of us except for William. I just wish I could be there for him more. I have always been there for him. He always tries to be there for me. I just need to be there for him through this one last thing... He deserves what little care I have left.

Nerissa: Close Friend. Attracted.
I do what I can to help her. I try. But honestly, I don't know what to do anymore. I feel so useless. I feel like I messed up. I'm guilty. I don't think I'm around to comfort her anymore. I think I hang around because I hope she'll comfort me. But we're both too broken for that.

Peyton: Friend. Attracted.
She needs my help, my comfort, my guidance.. But I am tired. I am weary. I am drained. I have little left to give, thankfully... I need the comfort she provides just as much as she needed mine. And she is ready and willing to give. I foresee a very good friendship...

Cyrus: Friend. Attracted.
My gut tells me he is a pig and I should be avoiding our encounters, but to be honest I get along quite well with Cyrus. He is the first person in years to treat me like a noble. No, not sucking up and being all formal, actually respecting me as a skilled and beautiful woman and putting the time and effort for me into a few choice luxuries that only someone of a refined taste could enjoy. Everyone acts like he is the lowest scum around, but he's handsome, charming, and he treats me like something more then an ordinary woman while everyone else wants to treat me like something less.

Chathra: Nuetral.
I am so fucking done trying with her. She can die cold and alone for all I care now, it is time I worry about myself instead of all these other random people that don't even want my help.

Zarkaylia: Love, but feels Hurt and Betrayed
I love Zark, I do. She is an amazing woman. The best at what she does. She's a good and caring person to people she feels deserve it, and she's never afraid to help. However, she's done things I can't forgive, and after spending years trying to make her proud, I feel I've gotten no closer to her.

Thomas: Love-Hate. The Love is Involuntary.
I don't even know anymore.. I feel like I need him more then the air I breath, but it hurts so much... He left me like I was nothing. He doesn't even care about me. Love lasts forever, I see now that I was never important to him. That bastard doesn't deserve to call himself a man.

Victor: Enemy.
I'll kill him if he touches anyone I care about again. He must be removed from power. I am done trying to recover this mess, I am done trying to please and help him. If this is fixed, it'll be because he made it happen, I'm done with it.

Outdated/Absent:

Spoiler

Mercedes: Close Friend. Attracted.
She is one of my best friends ever. Period. She's gotten with a man and he makes her happy; I'm glad for them. But if he hurts her I'll shoot him in the balls. She's always available to talk, comforting me and giving me good sound advice and conversation, and she's been there for me through all of my pain. She's reliable, and I try to return the favors as much as I can.

Amelia:
Dead, liar, bitch... But I still miss her.. It hurts...

Spy/Caeser:
I really like Spy, but I haven't seen him around lately. Caeser is even more rare, but fun.

Daulton:
I hold no grudge.. I understand where he is coming from... But if he threatens me, or my friends, or harasses any of us, I will shoot him. I am tired of his brash behavior... He is a dog that requires a leash, and is dangerously short minded.

Sidian:
She is quickly becoming my best friend, I can honestly say I love her and could hug her all day, even if she seems so stoic and reserved at times. She understands me, and is always helpful and kind. I just hope she doesn't turn out like Amelia...

Goals:
-Project Coal Heart
-Find True Comfort

Skills:
-Competent Mechanical Engineering
-Advanced Archery
-Competent Hunting
-Apprentice Cooking
-Apprentice Tracking / Woodland Navigation
-Competent Tattoo Work
-Competent Dye / Ink / Cosmetics Crafting / Use
-Fluent Xitian Language
-Fluent Common Trade Language
-Novice Lucin Language

Music:

[3llusive]

Hi River. I’ll be handling your submission today. We’ve a few things to go over though.



Your backstory needs more detail. You don’t give a lot of reasoning behind some of the things in your character’s backstory that need it. For instance, why would a tribe made up of former slaves be pacifistic? Didn’t they just fight in the Veld War to win their freedom? If their tribe held pacifistic beliefs, why would her father want her to learn to use a weapon? I advise you comb over your application and add clarification where it’s needed.


What kind of engineering did she learn? There are many different forms of engineering and the skills and knowledge involved honestly don’t correlate with each other much at all. Please revise and clarify.


Your skills need revision. I’d like you to keep in mind that ‘competent’’ means the average skill level of someone who does their trade for a living. Do you mean to imply she can tattoo, throw knives, and has some form of engineering that she can perform professionally? Please revise.


Your application doesn't define your character’s personality. I need you to add a section on her personality and descriptively define who she is. It doesn't seem right that more emphasis is placed on appearance in specific than personality. Additionally, please make sure that the personality you give her is directly supported by her experiences in her backstory.



That's the first round. Good luck with your revisions.

[RiverKelly]

[RiverKelly]

Small edit

[3llusive]

Hey River, we’re close now I believe. I’d like to see one last thing from you.


More detail on her pet. As it stands you’ve listed her pet as if it’s of equal importance to any other item she currently possesses. I’d really like you to elaborate on her cat. Make sure to display its personality and her relationship with it. Please revise.



And that’s it! Hope to see you roleplaying again soon. If you need help, feel free to ask.