[JacobVest]

In Game Name(IGN):
Cersus

Why do you want to join?
I love RP I think it can be a very fun thing if done with the acutal intent of RPing I just find it awesome and fun to do.

Do you have any RP'ing experience?
I played other Rp servers and I don't find it hard to RP it just like using your imagnation but directing it in a serious way.

Tell us a bit about yourself:
I am Jacob Vest I am 17 1/2 and I love games and I love having fun though I dont like feeling bloated.

Character Personality:
Cersus's training has made him a humble and forgiving man. He also holds his honor above all esle for it is very important to him. Though he was trained in Martial Arts he doesn't flaunt to him its just a tool that he can use in aiding his fellow man. He also has a soft spot for people who have lost something important to them. But you shouldn't underestimate Cersus by his demeanour though humble he can still hold his own if someone is in trouble.

Your Character Biography:
Twenty-three years ago a boy named Cersus was born during the Civil War that shook the very foundations of the realm. He lived in a city made of stone and wood you could hear the wind howl through the cracks though the city was withered it was not broken. It was filled with warriors ranging in all ages that could hold their own in battle. Including his Father and Mother who were experts in Martial Artist and helped in the training of the city’s soldiers. He had an uncle named Harris a loving but serious man who taught him ever since he could start training. And that he must know how to defend himself and aid his fellow man.
At a young age Cersus would walk around the city and hear stories of the scary men beyond this place. Men of the Dusk Realm were like bogeyman stories for children in the city and it scared Cersus even to this day the Xitians frighten him. He would take comfort in the knowledge that the city was strong in fighters sadly that doesn’t always mean everything. Cersus was a cheerful boy though sometimes clumsy he loved to always make his uncle proud even though at times he did more harm but his innocence kept him safe. But this happiness would come to pass as like weather the conditions change all the time.
When finally at the age of 15 the civil war would test the city that he lived in Mesalians were fighting Mesalians day and night. The fires of war brewed on both sides as each tried to gain the advantage the city became outnumbered as many died from the unrelenting attacks from the enemy. Cersus became scared but remembered that the city still had many strong hearts left. But even then it wasn’t enough soon fear gripped the city infighting had started some people wanted to just give up and others wanted to continue the fight. This allowed the enemy to get over the walls like overflowing water they poured into the city. He tried to help and ended up making them angrier when he threw a bucket of waste at them. He ran as they chased him down he was trying to find his parents yet became trapped like a pack of wolves they surrounded him. Then Harris came and told them to leave the boy alone or face the wrath of his might. They laughed and tried to attack Harris he took them down one by one they fell like leaves from a tree. Harris quickly grabbed Cersus and took him to his house and told him to gather his things. Cersus tried to grab as much as he could but the invading Mesalians found the home and he was forced to only be able to grab a book containing memories from the city.
Harris ran off with Cersus taking him out of the city he struggled to escape and run back to the city in hope of finding his parents. But his uncle wouldn’t let him go telling him that he couldn’t find Cersus parents and that he is taking him into the wilds to learn in safety and in secrecy. Cersus went into a dark place he hated those Mesalians and wanted one day to take revenge. For the next 8 years he trained with his uncle who would teach him the ways of Martial Arts. His uncle would gather fruits and other foods not having tools they trained in areas where the war killed off much wildlife which made it safer to train. Though it was hard for Cersus at first not being used to nature’s fury he spent long nights in the howling wind cold and restless other times in hottest summers. And at first Cersus was angry and had malice in his heart but Harris would not have it and trained with Cersus day and night dusk till dawn. Teaching him that yes he lost his home and his parents but life isn’t over and that we will all experience loss but to let it take you, you lose even more. And one day pulled Cersus from the depths of oblivion by training his mind and soul he learned to forgive.
Cersus became stronger forgiving and forgetting allowed him to find peace he found that being calm helped in focusing his mind. And he and his uncle would finally say their goodbyes for one day Harris returned from gathering food for supper when he encountered a group of people who were leaving to go to the Forbidden Lands. He had asked them why they are leaving they replied “ The Dusk Realm has re-opened and that it threatens us all” they wanted to leave for safety in case something was to happen. Harris returned with haste and told Cersus that he must go with the others to the Forbidden Lands. He didn’t understand they had bonded together for so long and now Harris wants them to split apart. For Harris knew what the Xitians were capable of if anything bad were to happen. Cersus wouldn’t last a day and that he would only be safe in the Forbidden Lands but his uncle wanted to stay and try to help in any way possible for honor was his way. He packed his things and set off on his journey to the Forbidden Lands. He looked back many times in sadness that his uncle is going to stay and still didn’t understand why.
He didn’t like it though he wouldn’t dishonor his uncle and sailed off and as he looked into the distance. He learned that honor must come before ones owe wants for his uncle wanted to come with Cersus but has a duty to the realm for he lived off it and survived in its and he wants to give back by trying to help in anyway. And that honor if followed helps in leading a true life you may not get what you want but you will be respected as true. Cersus is now 23 and has arrived in the Forbidden Lands and is waiting to see what things await him in this new world.

Specify your character's skills:
Major Skills
Martial Arts- Competent 17 Years
Survival-Novice 8 Years

Do your character bring anything to the setting (part from clothes)?
He brings a book that speaks of his village.

Anything you'd like to add:
I would just like to say I hope this goes well and if I am accepted do I have to make a Character Application!

[LuckyLeaf]

Hello Jacob! I'm Leaf, and I'll be looking into your app.

-=oOo=-

First off, you may be confused over some of the events that happened in our lore and when they happened. I’d ask you to read it through one more time, but I’ll point out some things that you might want to know.

Timey-wimey: Cersus is mentioned to be 34 at the end of your backstory, which is fine of course, but the problem is that he had experienced the War of Veld. You see, the War of Veld happened about 48 years ago from our current time lore wise, which means that Cersus can’t be 34 years old, but about 43, give or take.

Liberation: Next up is on the details of the War of Veld. The War of Veld was a war of liberation for the people of the Middle Realm, a war that set them free from slavery under the Xitians, who were driven away by the Lucins. While it is possible that Cersus’ village suffered from the war efforts, the war was directed towards the Xitians, not the Mesalians. I think you might want to take note of that.

Alchemy: I’d like you to know that alchemy isn’t really a thing in our world. I mean, you can insist on being an alchemist, but just be aware that alchemy in our world is treated the same as alchemy is our IRL world, which means that anything alchemists can whip up in their cauldrons likely don’t have any effect at all on anything, like resurrect dead bodies and set them to peace again, or anything of the sort that imbues a magical attribute to them.

You can insist that alchemists can make potions and poisons, but I will then to ask you to change his job title from alchemist, to something more appropriate, because the word “potion” means the same to us and our characters; something quack, and nothing like the potions you’d see in video games.

The Other events?: The War of Veld, as important as it is to the history of Mesalia, isn’t the only big thing that happened. Following the War of Veld was the Purges, after which were the Civil Wars. About Twenty years later, the wars ended and the gate to the Dusk Realm reopened, and because these were such big events, I’ll have to ask you to tell me how these affected Cersus, or if they didn’t, why they didn't.

-=oOo=-

Next up is, well, realism, coupled with a need for elaboration. There isn’t much in your backstory that lets me know who this Cersus fella really is, and I’d like you to tell me more of your character.

Children born during the War of Veld: Just so you know, the War of Veld only lasted 10 years, so if the children were born during the war, they’d be 10 years old at max, so they probably wouldn’t have worked as much and their uncle would have had a much more difficult time.

Slavers: I’m intrigued that the slavers weren’t stopped by anyone at all other than a boy. Were there no guards in that town? Did none of the townsfolk know how to defend themselves? If by chance the slavers overwhelmed the townspeople and took them all in ropes and chains, how was Cersus spared? Please elaborate how they managed to take slaves of people so easily.

Poison: Cersus mixes poison at such a young age, using materials that he probably never used before, in a kitchen that he’s probably never been before except to clean the floor. If Cersus is a child, give or take 10, he wouldn’t know how to cook, therefore he’d never have used the kitchen, which consequently means that he wouldn’t know anything about making poison. And a kitchen of all places! I’m wondering what kind of kitchen actually has ingredients to make poison, and how he would have even been allowed to gain any knowledge of it.

He could’ve mixed any old junk lying around, sure, but that would taste simply foul, and I imagine the slavers would’ve found out very easily if such a thing was applied in their food. The issue here is that he made the poison himself, and I ask you to change this fact.

Path of Alchemy: Which leads me to this point, and the next major point after this. So Cersus learns more of alchemy over the years, with no teacher to teach him, and no tomes, books, or whatsoever to help him along. It would have been an extremely slow process, experimenting with all the ingredients he could find around not to mention the experiments as well, because well, who would he experiment on? If he stuck round to creating stuff like, say, healing salves, or lip balms, (because like I said previously, potions are not a thing) that would be fine, but poison? He’d have been found out eventually if he was killing people at all, and would have been punished accordingly. I suggest maybe give him a teacher earlier on?

Resurrection of Anna: So this is possibly the biggest issue out of all. I don’t how to break it to you, but there is no reviving of the dead, or reanimating corpses and all sorts related to the word ‘magic’ in our world. The powers of the Lucins and Xitians are more of a racial property and are exerted physically, not magically, using say, the power of your mind.

So it’s impossible that Cersus would have even caused his sister’s corpse to twitch, much less regain her soul and curse Cersus. So basically the whole event can’t happen, and also means you need to have a whole bit to edit so Cersus and his father meet.

Grofin: Tiny plug, previous points I mentioned about alchemy still apply, and Grofin should be edited accordingly.

That’s it for realism, at least as far as I can see. I hope you don’t get overwhelmed by all this.

-=oOo=-

And we now move on to the skills, which will be short.

Alchemy: Currently you only list alchemy as a skill, and well, give no means for us to gauge how good he actually is. I’d like you to take a look at our skill guide: http://www.mesalia.net/forum/showthread....40#pid2840 and see how you can spruce this up.

-=oOo=-

The last thing I’d like to point out - the last, I promise – is that all backstories need to end with the character coming to the Forbidden Lands, where our story takes place.

So take a lean back, maybe have a cup of tea, and have a bit of a think over how you want your character to be portrayed and bump the thread when you’re done editing, thanks!

[JacobVest]

OK so I changed who Cersus was to fit the realm from which they live in.

[LuckyLeaf]

[JacobVest]

So do you want me to write a new editited version in a new post?