04-06-2013, 05:01 PM
Once again, welcome to Mesalia. I’m Michelle, and I’ll be reviewing your application. Sorry for the slight wait.
1. The purple-coloured text makes your application extremely difficult to read (and thus, review). Please revise.
2. More overall detail is required in your character’s backstory. Currently, there is too much of a gap between the character’s childhood and her conscription, and there is not enough detail on her life as a Highland Scout. What was it like? How did she feel about it? Did she want to be a scout, in spite of her conscription? How old was she when the conscription happened? Please elaborate and/or revise.
3. An in-depth and detailed description of your character’s personality is required in your character’s backstory. Currently, there is insufficient depth and knowledge provided on this in your application. Please revise, ensuring that your character’s backstory demonstrates the development of your character’s personality over time; this is linked to the previous point.
That’s all for now. Good luck.
1. The purple-coloured text makes your application extremely difficult to read (and thus, review). Please revise.
2. More overall detail is required in your character’s backstory. Currently, there is too much of a gap between the character’s childhood and her conscription, and there is not enough detail on her life as a Highland Scout. What was it like? How did she feel about it? Did she want to be a scout, in spite of her conscription? How old was she when the conscription happened? Please elaborate and/or revise.
3. An in-depth and detailed description of your character’s personality is required in your character’s backstory. Currently, there is insufficient depth and knowledge provided on this in your application. Please revise, ensuring that your character’s backstory demonstrates the development of your character’s personality over time; this is linked to the previous point.
That’s all for now. Good luck.
![[Image: a88823d4-5335-49cc-91b4-f8c511e214f8_zps...1409225114]](http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g158/mnguy3/a88823d4-5335-49cc-91b4-f8c511e214f8_zpsf21a961a.png?t=1409225114)