25-08-2013, 07:44 AM
Hey tech, I have some more stuff for you:
1. Powers -
This is a little much for two Lucins to accomplish. Air can not make the wind more humid and cause rain and water. Air powers usually involve re-directing and forceful gusts.
2. Inconsistency -
I believe you removed the smiting skill.
As a general note if you want my two cents with the powers; if you want to get the Xitians away from the torture of Will's father, then I would think the announcement of the Lucins would be enough. I don't think the Xitians would continue to whip some slave when a major threat has been announced. So I would suggest not having Elanor and her mother use their powers at that moment.
1. Powers -
Quote:Suddenly, the air grew more humid than before. Droplets descended upon the flamed whips. The floor increasingly flooded, though a few inches, yet the Xitians backed away from it. It was then, the windows from all around the courtyard broke out
This is a little much for two Lucins to accomplish. Air can not make the wind more humid and cause rain and water. Air powers usually involve re-directing and forceful gusts.
2. Inconsistency -
Quote:Will earned money from being trained in smelting ores and toolmaking
I believe you removed the smiting skill.
As a general note if you want my two cents with the powers; if you want to get the Xitians away from the torture of Will's father, then I would think the announcement of the Lucins would be enough. I don't think the Xitians would continue to whip some slave when a major threat has been announced. So I would suggest not having Elanor and her mother use their powers at that moment.