[Michelle]

Wow. Okay. Slow at the start, but good read.
I don’t know what the preferred pronoun for your character is, so I’m going to use ‘they’. Feel free to give me a preferred pronoun for future use.
A few things:

• 1. More explicit detail is required for your character’s personality. Currently, the description poses the character as a standard medieval knight, even though it’s pretty obvious that they aren’t one. Please expand/revise. I would personally recommend addressing the character’s ‘elephant in the room’.
  2. It’s the end of the month, and you might have to age this character up. I’m sorry I didn’t get to this quick enough. Alternatively, you could give them a birthday later in the year to put if off a little, or have them born a year later. Please revise.
  3. Your character’s backstory requires more lore-relation. While it’s understood that the beginning of the backstory was most likely written for this requirement, and that there’s a reason why the character was unaffected by the civil war, we’d like to see a few more mentions incorporated. Please revise.

That’s all. Good luck, and feel free to ask questions.