[Michelle]

Hiya, welcome to Mesalia. I’m Michelle. I’ll be looking at your application.

1. Skill issues:

• a) One master skill and two advanced skills are considered too much for a thirty-five year old. For more information please consult this skill guide. I would personally these skills down a notch, and remove hauling as it has more to do with physique than training, knowledge or experience. Please revise.
  b) Your character’s shield work skill is a little vague. Does it involve building a shield, or using one? Or both? Please elaborate/revise.

2. Lore relation issues - overall, the amount of lore relation in your application is enough, but the following details need to be more expanded upon:

• a) “The few left alive were forced into various different positions ... Mercédès was one of the lucky ones to only be put in forced labour because of her skill in masonry and was put to work repairing the town.” After the War of Veld, this behaviour even in a civil war situation would likely be considered as heinous in the Middle Realm. It wouldn’t usually be a common occurrence amongst Mesalians (as being enslaved was a large part of their history). Assuming your character’s town was mostly populated by Mesalians, you will need to revise this section of your character’s backstory. Simply acknowledging the winning faction’s actions as especially taboo will be fine, but the decision is yours.
  b) “It did, because when she turned 27 the Lucins came...” As a group, Lucins generally didn’t do much intervening during the civil war as it was a matter within Mesalian settlements. Also, why would the winning faction listen to outsiders, of all people? How would their perspective be useful? Please consider this information and revise accordingly.

3. In regards to getting the timeline of the lore accurate, I can help you along there. It has been twenty-three years since the Civil War started. This means if your character was seven when it began, she is now thirty, and not thirty-five. Alternatively, you can simply make her twelve when the war starts (which would make her thirty-five). Please consider this information and revise accordingly.
4. “Also she can get a bit snarky if she cannot find anything to occupy her time.”
“But she also has a hidden passion for history, so she loves pouring over old scrolls or tomes if she can find any.” These aspects of your character’s personality require more justification in your character’s backstory. Remember, your character’s backstory should not only explain their skills and life, but should also explain how they’ve become who they are. Please elaborate/revise.

That’s all for now. Good luck. If something isn’t clear, or you have any questions, feel free to ask them.