[Hutchy]

Hello, Taylor. I'm Hutchy, and I'll be helping you through the whitelisting process.

• Your backstory needs more detail and relation to the server lore, which can be found here. Lore relation helps us judge how well they character will fit into the setting, and the overall backstory lets us gauge if they are a believable character and, again, how they fit into the setting. I recommend that you take a look at previous, accepted applications and/or character sheets to help you get a better idea of how it should look and read.
  
  In addition, we need a more detailed path through the backstory, the character’s age at certain events being an example of this.

• Your character’s backstory doesn't do a lot to explain personal growth over her life. The backstory needs to show more description of how she was as a child, how she was through adolescence and then into adulthood. It is necessary that we see how the character has changed over the years before arriving in the setting.
  It seems her adult life has been entirely redacted from the present backstory. We need these details. Please work on this.

• Additionally, the personality section could do with some fleshing out. This, as well as the backstory, lets us know that you know the character. When you add further detail to the backstory, it can help you accomplish this.

• Details of her backstory, such as five husbands and Xitian hunting, has been left out of the bio section. All these details must be presented in the backstory, and the backstory should give us reason to believe that she has trained in or developed these skills to such a degree. Further information can be found in the skill guide here. Please work on this in your edits.

That's all for this round, bump the thread when you have made any alterations and we can proceed.