[Hutchy]

Hello, Erin. I'm Hutchy and I'll be helping you through whitelisting.

• Your backstory needs more relation to the setting's lore, which can be found here. There needs to be some relation to the lore to help us see how and why this character fits into the setting. What impact did the Civil War have on her home, her family? Does her family bear a grudge because of the slavery? Please elaborate on this. Being 23, your character will have been born during the Civil War, so while she might not know much of it personally, it’s likely she’ll have heard of it from someone somewhere.

• Also, the backstory must end with her arriving in the Forbidden Lands.

• Next, it would help things sequence together if there was more indication of the character’s age at certain events during the backstory, bearing in mind that time between these ages should be described adequately, which at present doesn’t seem like it’ll be a problem for you.

• Finally, I need to ask that you refer to this guide on skills here, and edit your character’s skills section accordingly with the format provided.

That's all for now. Bump this thread when you have finished the necessary edits and we can continue. Also, when you make the edits, could you please highlight them in a different colour. thanks.