29-08-2015, 02:04 AM
Sooo, here we are, sorry for the wait. Now before I review the application, I have to inform you that staff feels a second character may be too early for you as of this time. Give your first character some more time to mature, so to speak, and maybe in a couple of weeks you'll have your second character rolling off of the forums.
And now to make that process streamlined, here is your review. -=oOo=-
Lore relation: Basically there isn't much in the backstory that relates Vy to worldly events that should have influenced either directly or indirectly almost everyone in the Main Continent. You have mention of the Civil Wars at the beginning, but you need to mention the Wars ending and the gates to the Dusk Realm reopening, which was a major event in recent history, and how they affected Vy's life in any way or how they didn't, if you prefer.
Murder: I'd like to hear more about this; in all fairness, it is possible that she could have gotten away with murdering her husband, but how she managed to travel across the continent, when she's never done so before, and how she heard about and found a way into the Forbidden Lands, interests me.
Skills: So skills. First off, you can tick off Lipreading from skills as it's more of a skill that is dependent on your roleplaying.
Sewing, Embroidery, Cloth Making, and Dying all fall under Tailoring, so you can replace them all by it. And as for drawing, I'd like to know to what extent her skill reaches. If she only uses the skill to draw her designs, then it should be marked as Apprentice. Think of it this way, can she use her drawing skill to earn a living? If not, it shouldn't be under Competent. -=oOo=-
There we have it, I think that should be good enough for now, bump the thread once you're done, but take your time, as Vy will take hers coming to the setting.
And now to make that process streamlined, here is your review.
Lore relation: Basically there isn't much in the backstory that relates Vy to worldly events that should have influenced either directly or indirectly almost everyone in the Main Continent. You have mention of the Civil Wars at the beginning, but you need to mention the Wars ending and the gates to the Dusk Realm reopening, which was a major event in recent history, and how they affected Vy's life in any way or how they didn't, if you prefer.
Murder: I'd like to hear more about this; in all fairness, it is possible that she could have gotten away with murdering her husband, but how she managed to travel across the continent, when she's never done so before, and how she heard about and found a way into the Forbidden Lands, interests me.
Skills: So skills. First off, you can tick off Lipreading from skills as it's more of a skill that is dependent on your roleplaying.
Sewing, Embroidery, Cloth Making, and Dying all fall under Tailoring, so you can replace them all by it. And as for drawing, I'd like to know to what extent her skill reaches. If she only uses the skill to draw her designs, then it should be marked as Apprentice. Think of it this way, can she use her drawing skill to earn a living? If not, it shouldn't be under Competent.
There we have it, I think that should be good enough for now, bump the thread once you're done, but take your time, as Vy will take hers coming to the setting.