11-12-2018, 09:05 AM
Hey Mythic! Thanks for applying. I'll be doing a quick run-over your application. I have a few notes and questions I wanted to get cleared up.
Skill Cleanup
I like how you listed each of the skills as competent. You show that you read the skill guide.
I want to get a little clean-up and simplification in, however. You seem to mix a few skills together into one category, or it feels bobbled together.
I would say your "Misc." skill feels more like herbology. You list this as a sort of alchemy/chemistry term, but I would avoid that. Unless she's making advanced medicines, it seems weird for it to be called that.
The knowledge skill also seems to combine a lot. I think the bow-crafting makes sense given her background. Although you also have things that would be rather advanced given the time-frame with mimic, such as understanding of gravity and reflection. I would go as far to say that those concepts likely aren't too well understood by even non-isolated tribal people. - Although a dedicated engineer, scientist, etc. would likely know these things.
In knowledge you also mention things that tie into chemistry, which seems a bit advanced given background. I think all of this ties better into my second point.
Backstory Dissonance
I'm a little confused on your character's ability and upbringing. From what it seems like, she seems to be someone raised in an unadvanced tribe with little connection to the mechanical and scientific world. Although now she's taken an interest in it and really wants to explore outside her tribe to learn more. I really like this idea. It's a natural enabler of character growth.
My problem is that it seems that the tribe is able to teach a solid and comprehensive understanding of sciences despite supposedly lacking information. Perhaps a slight tweak to lesser her current understanding of science would fit better? She doesn't have to be completely ignorant of course. You mention her mother took a similar route in life. Although I think having relatively strong knowledge of chemistry, alchemy, and so on, doesn't seem justified in the backstory properly.
Hearing
This is a quick one. Can you elaborate on her hearing condition for me? You mention that she suddenly developed highly sensitive hearing but it's not mentioned afterwords.
Thank you again for applying man. You can choose to elaborate, explain, correct, or fix anything in a format you're comfortable with. Just please make the changes easily noticeable.
Skill Cleanup
I like how you listed each of the skills as competent. You show that you read the skill guide.
I want to get a little clean-up and simplification in, however. You seem to mix a few skills together into one category, or it feels bobbled together.
I would say your "Misc." skill feels more like herbology. You list this as a sort of alchemy/chemistry term, but I would avoid that. Unless she's making advanced medicines, it seems weird for it to be called that.
The knowledge skill also seems to combine a lot. I think the bow-crafting makes sense given her background. Although you also have things that would be rather advanced given the time-frame with mimic, such as understanding of gravity and reflection. I would go as far to say that those concepts likely aren't too well understood by even non-isolated tribal people. - Although a dedicated engineer, scientist, etc. would likely know these things.
In knowledge you also mention things that tie into chemistry, which seems a bit advanced given background. I think all of this ties better into my second point.
Backstory Dissonance
I'm a little confused on your character's ability and upbringing. From what it seems like, she seems to be someone raised in an unadvanced tribe with little connection to the mechanical and scientific world. Although now she's taken an interest in it and really wants to explore outside her tribe to learn more. I really like this idea. It's a natural enabler of character growth.
My problem is that it seems that the tribe is able to teach a solid and comprehensive understanding of sciences despite supposedly lacking information. Perhaps a slight tweak to lesser her current understanding of science would fit better? She doesn't have to be completely ignorant of course. You mention her mother took a similar route in life. Although I think having relatively strong knowledge of chemistry, alchemy, and so on, doesn't seem justified in the backstory properly.
Hearing
This is a quick one. Can you elaborate on her hearing condition for me? You mention that she suddenly developed highly sensitive hearing but it's not mentioned afterwords.
Thank you again for applying man. You can choose to elaborate, explain, correct, or fix anything in a format you're comfortable with. Just please make the changes easily noticeable.