Okay, but I would like to stress that the elephant thing wasn't really a controversy; no one was exploding in staff chat or anything. Due to a lack of knowledge and exposure to the field, I'm personally bad at judging the realism behind combat situations. Thus, this was just a tame case of 'I need some help, but my internet connection's not being nice and I can't wake up early enough to ask in staff chat'. So... if you'd like to change it back, go ahead. I will have to have it checked again, though.
However, I have had your current revision looked at by other staff, and it's mostly okay, aside from this part:
'...The Blood Peak Clan. These skilled warriors from the southwest now numbered in excess of 3,000, and had become a dominating force over the course of the war.'
This implies the Blood Peak Clan is a big enough influence on the Civil War to be heard of by others; a force like this would require a lore proposal. Your options are to either revise this so it wouldn't require a lore proposal (which would probably be the fastest option), or to submit a lore proposal and have it approved.
That should be all for now. Sorry this took a while again, my connection is slower than the thought process of a zombie.
Or Miley Cyrus. They could be the same thing.
Good luck.
EDIT: Oh! And it's nearing the end of an IC year, so you may want to either change the years in the backstory to keep the character 23, or simply make her 24.
However, I have had your current revision looked at by other staff, and it's mostly okay, aside from this part:
'...The Blood Peak Clan. These skilled warriors from the southwest now numbered in excess of 3,000, and had become a dominating force over the course of the war.'
This implies the Blood Peak Clan is a big enough influence on the Civil War to be heard of by others; a force like this would require a lore proposal. Your options are to either revise this so it wouldn't require a lore proposal (which would probably be the fastest option), or to submit a lore proposal and have it approved.
That should be all for now. Sorry this took a while again, my connection is slower than the thought process of a zombie.
Or Miley Cyrus. They could be the same thing.
Good luck.
EDIT: Oh! And it's nearing the end of an IC year, so you may want to either change the years in the backstory to keep the character 23, or simply make her 24.
![[Image: a88823d4-5335-49cc-91b4-f8c511e214f8_zps...1409225114]](http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g158/mnguy3/a88823d4-5335-49cc-91b4-f8c511e214f8_zpsf21a961a.png?t=1409225114)