[Michelle]

So close, but not quite. There was another thing I told you to do; this would be the fourth or fifth time I've told you to do it.

4. Your character’s personality requires more detail. Most of what has been listed so far is a good start, but it lacks sufficient depth. There is not much to this character outside of extroversion, creativity and symptoms of mental illness. Please revise and see point 12 for further instruction.

The point I am emphasising is that you tend to define or summarise your characters with one ‘default’ trait, and this limits their depth. Please be mindful of this on your next submission or revision. A good first step to improving this on future submissions is to be more detailed and explicit when describing your character’s personality, and to consider your character’s personality on many levels and under many different circumstances.

2. Personality issues: as stated in point 4 of my previous post: “I’m seeing improvement, but there’s still a lot of depth and complexity missing in your character. You focus too strongly on your character’s extroversion and enthusiasm. You need to push further.” Try discussing your character’s personality in an overall contxt, under a new section. Consider and include more aspects of your character’s personality; there should be more. Please revise and/or elaborate.

If hope this round, the message is much clearer. Yes, I'm seeing improvement; more aspects of the character's personality are being considered, but it's still just not there yet. Introduce more complexity.

Some helpful resources.

That's all. Good luck.