[Michelle]

Welcome to Mesalia. I’m Michelle, and I will be reviewing your application. I’d also like to personally add that I find your writing very impressive. Sorry this post has taken a while, and thank you for waiting patiently.

1. Please read this thread if you haven’t already, and specify which option you are selecting for your character. If you are choosing the second option, please have your character’s travel mentioned in their backstory.
2. As I said before, the backstory is well-written, but your application requires more explicit detail overall; this is to ensure that there are minimal gaps in your character’s details which could later lead to issues such as plotholes. Specifically, your character’s backstory lacks explicit information on the following:

• • a) why the character was unaffected by the civil war,
    b) what her early life was like,
    c) how she learnt her skills,
    d) and how the events and circumstances of the character’s life have shaped her personality.[/list:u][/list:u]
    Please revise your application in accordance to these requirements. You may incorporate this information into your application under another section if you wish. (In fact, it’s recommended that you do, because that backstory should not be touched).
    3. Your character’s personality requires more detail overall. You have a good start, but your character could use a little more individuality, variety and complexity. Please consider these aspects of your character, and elaborate on them. Also, please note point 2d).
    4. Skill issues: these are listed to ensure you have a balanced character that is capable, yet limited.
    • • a) As stated in point 2c), please provide information that justifies your character’s capabilities.
        b) Your character’s skillset also needs to be more explicit and exhaustive. For example, what does ‘agriculture’ specifically involve? What constitutes as an ‘everyday item’? The key here is to leave minimal gaps. Please elaborate and/or revise.
        c) Your character’s current skills are considered to be too high and too much for a twenty year old. Note that ‘expert’ is considered to be the equivalent of doing full time job in a certain field for several years. Please revise this.[/list:u][/list:u]
        5. Item issues:
        • • a) What you have listed for your character is considered too much, as it allows your character to be near self-sufficient immediately upon entering the setting. Personally, I would remove the hatchet, particularly because it would be difficult to hold onto whilst travelling.
            b) Please specify what kind of seeds your character is bringing to the setting. Note that you do not have to pick seeds are available in minecraft; the seeds for most plant(s) are acceptable. We just need to know which ones.[/list:u][/list:u]
            
            Although it needs work, this is an excellent and admirable start. That’s all, for now. Good luck.