[Nadhyara]

In Game Name(IGN):
Nadhyara

Why do you want to join?
I remembered looking at this server a little while ago, so I came back and decided to finally write up an app. I've not really done any RP before and it looks kinda interesting. Heck, I'm just looking forward to it c:

Do you have any RP'ing experience?
Not really, the closest I've got is a little unpublished creative writing :<

Tell us a bit about yourself:
Heh, there's really not much to say ^^;; - I probably don't read as much as I should, though I do love fantasy fiction, and have done english literature in the past. I've been following game of thrones like a proper fan, when I can get it to watch it.

All in all I just want to try and learn new things, and this really looks awesome!

Your Character Biography:
Needles of heat punctured her back steadily, deeper digging and warming. The unforgiving scrape of a cold gust whipped around her ankles. Little grass swords scratched at her bruised feet and legs. The weight of the grain was becoming too much.

But Sahra persevered, cutting and cutting and cutting at long shafts, liberating lifegiving grains from the soils of their birth. It was an echo, in a way. To be ripped so untimely, for someone else's reasons, from one's roots. With a last sigh and a full pack, Sahra turned and barefootedly wandered her way to shelter.

There was going to be a storm tonight.

***

There was a storm that night. Near fantasy-perfect, a dreadful setting for a terrible happening. She had just been a girl, born into a world of fields open for the picking. Her uncle was her protector - mother and father had never been with her, at least not that she could remember. Uncle Bann was a perfect man, to her: tall and strong and unafraid.

With him, she was always safe. He protected her from the scariest of animals and healed the most ferocious nettle-wounds and bug-bites. But he was a sad man, and Sahra didn't like it. Uncle Bann smiled rarely, more so as she aged, and he often went away for a night or more, for walks, he said, to clear his head, he said.

By her teen years, at her most vulnerable, the tables had turned on Sahra. Uncle Bann was a wreck, hollow, empty. His sickness had forced him abed most of the day, and when he awoke and wandered around, his mood was foul and his temper fouler, recalling the War of Veld, its horrors and atrocities. He forgot her name and who she was sometimes, and screamed in the night. Not forgetting his service to her, Sahra took care of him, working the farm nearly alone, apart from the fewer and fewer hired workers she could pay to help.

As Bann got worse, he got more violent. On that stormy eve, as Sahra embraced him for the final time, he paid back with a hurtful wringing, with terrified eyes as if he was starting into those of a Xitian. Desperately the girl reached a poker from the fire and tried to poke him away with the heat. In her fright, a frenzy of black and white, red and singing, she impaled it through his gut.

She wept bitterly for nights on end, and rose a woman.

***

Sahra became lost for a long time - longer than anyone would wish to be away from those they know.

Another farm became her home, and here she was now - a scruffed being of but 20 years, toiling through the simple life. Even the crops declined, getting thinner and less full, just as she.

Lighting the fire, she thought back again to the coal-boy who had delivered her fuel for the week, saying that the ships were leaving soon, not far from here. Huge, he said they were, far bigger than the rowing-boat Sahra had lying around, maintained but never used.

They were going to a better place, she remembered, and resolved to leave upon sunrise, with four loaves of freshly made bread.

And so the storm blew over, the bread baked, and Sahra left for the forbidden lands.

(About Sahra)
Full Name: Sahra Tempi
Age: 20
Sex: Female
Weight/Build: Average
Height: Average, 5'5"
Hair Colour: Dark Brown
Eye Colour: Green
Skin colour: White, with some tan from working in the sun
Clothing: Simple dresses made from common cloths
Personality:
Sahra is a gentle and caring individual who is quite a complex person on the inside; she's very good at picking up on how people are feeling, and responds appropriately. She has very high expectations for herself, and likes to stay organised and on top of things. Once Sahra starts a task, she is committed to it and will persevere until it's done. She puts a lot of weight on gut feelings and will, on occasion, act on them.

She's very protective of herself and doesn't reveal a lot to those she doesn't know or doesn't trust. When she does trust someone, however, she will open up to them, for the most part. Such people are incredibly important to her. She is very patient with them, and will go to great lengths to make them happy and comfortable.

If she thinks something is wrong, she will not waver, and become quite stubborn about it. If people talk about certain issues she will flare up with emotion, sometimes easily overwhelmed of the right triggers are hit.

She has a huge hole in her heart where Uncle Bann used to be, one not easily filled. She Los for something to fill it, but finds it hard to let anyone close enough to allow that to happen. She's scared by what she did to her uncle, and it haunts her often.

Specify your character's skills:
Good:
- Growing and harvesting crops, manual farm work (tilling, fertilising, ploughing)
- Sewing/Repairing clothes

Alright:
- Cooking
- Rearing of animals
- Gathering wild food (plants, berries, seeds)

Completely Inept:
- Reading and Writing
- Hunting
- Fighting

Do your character bring anything to the setting (part from clothes)?
- Needles and twine
- A hide bottle

Anything you'd like to add:
Nothing really, just hope I get to RP with you guys soon! <3

Changes:
- Skills & Items

[Michelle]

I'd just like to let you know that someone (me) is looking at this currently, so don't worry. It's just that that someone is taking her sweet time because she's super busy.

Sorry, I'll try to get feedback to you by today (Wednesday) in my timezone.

EDIT: Need to check a few things over with the other staff, and they're not available at the moment because I'm quite sure it's 8.30am in the US right now. So unfortunately, your feedback's going to have to wait until tomorrow morning my time... which should be in eight-ish hours. Again, apologies for the delay.

EDIT: Nevermind, Zark woke up.

[Nadhyara]

[Michelle]

Welcome to Mesalia. I’m Michelle, and I will be reviewing your application. I’d also like to personally add that I find your writing very impressive. Sorry this post has taken a while, and thank you for waiting patiently.

1. Please read this thread if you haven’t already, and specify which option you are selecting for your character. If you are choosing the second option, please have your character’s travel mentioned in their backstory.
2. As I said before, the backstory is well-written, but your application requires more explicit detail overall; this is to ensure that there are minimal gaps in your character’s details which could later lead to issues such as plotholes. Specifically, your character’s backstory lacks explicit information on the following:

• • a) why the character was unaffected by the civil war,
    b) what her early life was like,
    c) how she learnt her skills,
    d) and how the events and circumstances of the character’s life have shaped her personality.[/list:u][/list:u]
    Please revise your application in accordance to these requirements. You may incorporate this information into your application under another section if you wish. (In fact, it’s recommended that you do, because that backstory should not be touched).
    3. Your character’s personality requires more detail overall. You have a good start, but your character could use a little more individuality, variety and complexity. Please consider these aspects of your character, and elaborate on them. Also, please note point 2d).
    4. Skill issues: these are listed to ensure you have a balanced character that is capable, yet limited.
    • • a) As stated in point 2c), please provide information that justifies your character’s capabilities.
        b) Your character’s skillset also needs to be more explicit and exhaustive. For example, what does ‘agriculture’ specifically involve? What constitutes as an ‘everyday item’? The key here is to leave minimal gaps. Please elaborate and/or revise.
        c) Your character’s current skills are considered to be too high and too much for a twenty year old. Note that ‘expert’ is considered to be the equivalent of doing full time job in a certain field for several years. Please revise this.[/list:u][/list:u]
        5. Item issues:
        • • a) What you have listed for your character is considered too much, as it allows your character to be near self-sufficient immediately upon entering the setting. Personally, I would remove the hatchet, particularly because it would be difficult to hold onto whilst travelling.
            b) Please specify what kind of seeds your character is bringing to the setting. Note that you do not have to pick seeds are available in minecraft; the seeds for most plant(s) are acceptable. We just need to know which ones.[/list:u][/list:u]
            
            Although it needs work, this is an excellent and admirable start. That’s all, for now. Good luck.

[Nadhyara]

Thank you! I'll get the changes done and update as soon as possible.

EDIT: As you've suggested I've put the parts that need adding into seperate sections.


The War Far Away

Tales of battles, Mesalian against Mesalian, sometimes wound their way across to the farm; to Sahra it was a world far removed: hers was Uncle Bann, Timmon the Farrier and his wife Tina who'd had four children; there was the coalboy who sometimes packed rumours and stories amongst his dusty fuels. And then there were the Grenhalls, who owned the farm over the way.

Sometimes new farmhands brought ditties and shanties, and played and sang them with her while they worked. The war was just that in Sahra's mind: tales and songs of valour and glory, sorrow and pain.

The war began for her in the waning months of winter, when the land was yet to be sheared of its icy wool. Days were spent inside, around fires, drawing every last ember, every little lick of heat from them that they could. As the final fire went down, she tightened her blanket around her, sniffing in the sooty hot air.

Knock-a-knock-a-knock, against the big oak door of the house. Perhaps the coalboy had come, through all the snow. Uncle Bann went to the door, to sounds of shouts and steel. The still-small girl hid until the shouting stopped.

Her and her uncle spent that night colder and hungrier.


The First Weeds of Waning Winter

The coming of the frightening men was often and violent. Uncle Bann, resistant at first, quickly became an quiet for fear of safety.

Along with this, Sahra began her first true work. While Uncle Bann felled trees, and took their arms for fuel, Sahra took like a little creature to the undergrowth, seeking what the few live plants had to offer with their roots and leaves.

Every year she did this, and every year it seemed less. She didn't know if it was a true decline, or just her growth fooling her.

They were lucky; after the fifth year the Grenhalls fell ill and perished. The Farrier's wife was bound to bed. Uncle Bann just aged a saddened, even in the summer months when the men didn't come.


A Time Forgotten

A dream one night, starting with a warm face. Its features were blurred, and the light around it was dusken in colour. Suddenly black and a flash, and a face less welcoming. This time she could see who it was, her uncle. Watching herself play as he worked, pretending to work, and then working with him. The Farrier's wife was pregnant again, but her children never came to play, and she could never remember their names.

The world opened into inky black, stars peeping through the windows and the cieling's holes. She tried to smile about her time forgotten, before the work, before the soldiers. When the chickens were fun to chase, when she couln't pick up Timmon's hammers. When she was too timid to speak to the coalboy, when Tina brought her biscuits.

She sighed, and tightened her eyes again, trying to bring back the world she'd lost.


Fewer

Each year, Sahra's days became more difficult, and respite became rarer. Farmhands left to work elsewhere or to try their luck in the Forbidden Lands; whever they went, she never heard back from them. Uncle Bann became weaker and rarely ventured out.

Sahra stepped away from the cookpots and rolled up her patchy sleeves. She insisted the farmhands teach her what Unlce Bann had failed to, and in return made them warm food, and mended their torn clothes.

Soft hands make for uncomfortable work, yet Sahra toughened to match the challenge.


Old and New (After Bann)

She remembered the little shy girl that visited her in her dreams. The one that smiled when you talked to her, and had a home where she was loved, and an Uncle who remembered her name. She would've blushed at the farmhands' boisterous talk.

Now the smiles were frowns, the blushing a mixture of laughter and scowls, and the shyness a great wall, seperating the shell that was her body from the burning longing within.

A better life, again.

There were no bedtime stories or soft words to soothe; they ended with the soldiers. The one charming farmhand, Jay, whose hand she'd held once, still smiled at her, but it was far away and underground.

The new farm lay on a hill, where few ventured and no-one stayed.


Sails and Shovels

The large old girl, Pearly Rows, was one of the few large sailing ships seen as of recent. Sahra claimed her place on board with the promise of aiding with food and fixing the crew's clothes. The captain gave her a room with his daughter, a little younger than her.

The sailors reminded her of the farmhands - sometimes in her dreams, they were on the farm with her, singing songs of the sea, working the land instead of taming the ship with ropes.

As the came ashore, beacons led the the way, and they camped and walked, sometimes splitting off from each other. She kept with the captain's daughter, who could read and had a book full of tales gathered from lands far off and lost. They kept warm together on cold nights, teased those of the sailors who cared for their hair though balding, cooked together.

They lost a few to the dusk creatures. Mostly deckhands and washboys who'd wandered off into the night to relieve themselves. But they kept following the beacons, until they mounted the final hill as the sun began to set.

It was her first time seeing a town this big.

A year of walking was too much for Sahra, even with the home she had found among the crew. It was hard, but she resolved to stay, while the Captain and his men kept moving.

She implored the captain's daughter to meet her again, but well knew that might never happen.