11-02-2014, 12:17 PM
I'm surprised, if I'm not able to be able to update my post in a few hours after you posting, why should I hold you to that standard? Anyway, I copied your format from your reply so I could directly respond to each point.
1. Skill issues:
a) Fixed.
b) This kind of ties into point A, I'm worried that Malcom doesn't have enough skills, but I'm having trouble of thinking of any skills that would make sense with the story and be worth mentioning. I could use some feedback on this part, if you don't mind.
c) I saw that part of the whitelist application, but I don't want Malcom to be a very con-man con-man. I want him to desire revenge and learn some combat, and use his deck of cards to pass the time and earn enough of a living from gambling. I want to develop his personality and make relationships, not make the other players hate him because he steals all of their money.
d) I'm sorry, I meant to make it clear that it was from a very close range, I guess I forgot to mention that in the actual story XD. Anyway, I also mentioned in his skills that he doesn't have much combat skills, and that it is something he wants to practice, to be able to take his revenge.
2. I added a large personality portion, tell me if more or less or more detailed information is needed.
3. I changed him back to a regular official, if still corrupt and evil.
1. Skill issues:
a) Fixed.
b) This kind of ties into point A, I'm worried that Malcom doesn't have enough skills, but I'm having trouble of thinking of any skills that would make sense with the story and be worth mentioning. I could use some feedback on this part, if you don't mind.
c) I saw that part of the whitelist application, but I don't want Malcom to be a very con-man con-man. I want him to desire revenge and learn some combat, and use his deck of cards to pass the time and earn enough of a living from gambling. I want to develop his personality and make relationships, not make the other players hate him because he steals all of their money.
d) I'm sorry, I meant to make it clear that it was from a very close range, I guess I forgot to mention that in the actual story XD. Anyway, I also mentioned in his skills that he doesn't have much combat skills, and that it is something he wants to practice, to be able to take his revenge.
2. I added a large personality portion, tell me if more or less or more detailed information is needed.
3. I changed him back to a regular official, if still corrupt and evil.