14-07-2014, 08:45 PM
Hello, iDig. I'm Hutchy and I'll be helping you through whitelisting. Sorry for the wait on your feedback.
That's all for now. Bump this thread when you have finished the necessary edits and we can continue.
- Your backstory needs more relation to the setting's lore, which can be found here. You have already made start on this, but there needs to be some more relation to the lore to help us see how and why this character fits into the setting. At 17 he might have had some experience with the Civil War, if not, you must explain why this is.
- Also, your character’s backstory must end with their arrival in the Forbidden Lands. It is implied in the story that this may be where he’s going, but it would be better if it is directly shown, whether it be when he sees the poster or at the end.
That's all for now. Bump this thread when you have finished the necessary edits and we can continue.