22-09-2014, 10:20 PM
Hi Spit!
Sorry for the late reply, but I've had a look over what you've done. I'm afraid without any cultural points of reference I can't really be comprehensive. So I will simply point out the largest items missing from the lore. Hopefully, the changes these require should help with the other issues but I can't provide more without the culture section.
The main lore states the entirety of the mainlands were invaded and enslaved by the Xitians and that resistance had died out before the gate to the Celestial realm re-opened. With the Xitians affinity for the area there is no reason they would bother negotiating. So please revise to include the invasion, enslavement, and more involvement on the war of Veld.
The primary lore also states that the entire mainlands were embroiled in the civil war. That also applies here. Even if the Xitian spies couldn't destabilize the empire internally that doesn't mean that external threats didn't come for their lands and holdings. Please include more relation to the civil wars.
And finally so far as I know no kingdom has established any sort of holdings in the forbidden lands. So there cannot be any colonization or claims made by this kingdom in the forbidden lands.
I'm sorry I really can't offer more insight until these issues are addressed. let me know if you have anymore questions.
Pinkie
Sorry for the late reply, but I've had a look over what you've done. I'm afraid without any cultural points of reference I can't really be comprehensive. So I will simply point out the largest items missing from the lore. Hopefully, the changes these require should help with the other issues but I can't provide more without the culture section.
The main lore states the entirety of the mainlands were invaded and enslaved by the Xitians and that resistance had died out before the gate to the Celestial realm re-opened. With the Xitians affinity for the area there is no reason they would bother negotiating. So please revise to include the invasion, enslavement, and more involvement on the war of Veld.
The primary lore also states that the entire mainlands were embroiled in the civil war. That also applies here. Even if the Xitian spies couldn't destabilize the empire internally that doesn't mean that external threats didn't come for their lands and holdings. Please include more relation to the civil wars.
And finally so far as I know no kingdom has established any sort of holdings in the forbidden lands. So there cannot be any colonization or claims made by this kingdom in the forbidden lands.
I'm sorry I really can't offer more insight until these issues are addressed. let me know if you have anymore questions.
Pinkie