13-01-2015, 11:10 PM
Sorry for the wait, Yabvi, here's what should be the last round.
This should be the last round of feedback, bump the thread when you're done and we'll see how it's turned out.
- I recommend that you address the order your backstory is presented in, specifically the mention of his training since the age of seven after we’ve already established that he’s 16. This makes things somewhat difficult to follow.
- Lastly, I would recommend that you lower or remove some skills. Some of the skills, like lore and culture can be removed completely and classed as knowledge instead. Herbalism, since there’s no relation or explanation for it’s high level in the backstory, I would lower considerably, or remove. Considering that he spent a long time training, calling him an expert in hunting might be pushing it, and I would push it down to advanced. Stalking prey can be classed under hunting, since sneaking tends to relate to sneaking around people, so can be removed. Finally, you seem to have listed hunting twice, naturally you only need one entry.
This should be the last round of feedback, bump the thread when you're done and we'll see how it's turned out.

