04-12-2016, 03:42 AM
Hey there Quob, welcome to the server, I'll be taking a look at your app.
But to be frank, there's isn't anything to fault, except for the skills.
Now, at the moment, Rayna's skillset is rather too high for someone of her age. Now the suggested skillset would be to lower either the lockpicking skill or the martial arts skill, and dropping the knife throwing and short bow skills.
I ask to drop the two skills because currently, there are no explanations as to how Rayna learned her way round a knife and bow, if, however, you'd like to add details in the backstory that explains how Rayna learned these skills, consequently you will also have to lower some of the other skills, which we can get to in the next round if you so choose.
As for the other three, the pickpocketing skill is acceptable, but I'm afraid as both lockpicking and martial arts are rather difficult skills to master, I will have to ask you to drop either one a level. Note that characters that strive for an advanced skill usually don't have time to work on other skills.
So in a nutshell, I suggest your skillset to look something like:
Lockpicking: Advanced/Competent
Pickpocketing: Apprentice
Martial Arts: Apprentice/Competent
Unless you make changes in your backstory that can support the current skillset.
Also, just for the sake of clarification the bit: "After 5 long years Aisha and Rayna married an sickly farmer" means that Aisha was the one married the farmer, right? Unless the farmer also married Rayna, who was 5 at the time.
Well, that's it for now, please bump the thread once you are done editing.
But to be frank, there's isn't anything to fault, except for the skills.
Now, at the moment, Rayna's skillset is rather too high for someone of her age. Now the suggested skillset would be to lower either the lockpicking skill or the martial arts skill, and dropping the knife throwing and short bow skills.
I ask to drop the two skills because currently, there are no explanations as to how Rayna learned her way round a knife and bow, if, however, you'd like to add details in the backstory that explains how Rayna learned these skills, consequently you will also have to lower some of the other skills, which we can get to in the next round if you so choose.
As for the other three, the pickpocketing skill is acceptable, but I'm afraid as both lockpicking and martial arts are rather difficult skills to master, I will have to ask you to drop either one a level. Note that characters that strive for an advanced skill usually don't have time to work on other skills.
So in a nutshell, I suggest your skillset to look something like:
Lockpicking: Advanced/Competent
Pickpocketing: Apprentice
Martial Arts: Apprentice/Competent
Unless you make changes in your backstory that can support the current skillset.
Also, just for the sake of clarification the bit: "After 5 long years Aisha and Rayna married an sickly farmer" means that Aisha was the one married the farmer, right? Unless the farmer also married Rayna, who was 5 at the time.
Well, that's it for now, please bump the thread once you are done editing.