07-01-2017, 07:34 PM
Hello, Flufflebutt. My name is Hutchy, and I'll be helping you through whitelisting.
I'd like to see some relation to the server's lore, found here. While it's fine to have your character's upbringing be under a rock, as it were, it is still necessary that the events going on in the background has a mention.
Next, I think you need to add more detail to the character's backstory. It doesn't need to be super in depth, but your backstory should ideally show how they became who they are and tie in with the server's lore.
About your skills, for your character's age there's far too many. Some are appropriately leveled, but you'll need to lose some. Given your character's secluded and nomadic lifestyle, I would recommend that you drop persuasion and deception from the list. Also, martial arts is often formally trained, so without teaching it won't get far. Finally, melee weapons is too generic a term, I know that's how it's described in the skill guide, but I need you to be specific.
Finally, your character's backstory needs to end with them arriving in Nightveil, where our RP setting takes place in the Forbidden Lands.
That's all for now. Post again in this thread when you've made your edits and we'll see where that takes us.
I'd like to see some relation to the server's lore, found here. While it's fine to have your character's upbringing be under a rock, as it were, it is still necessary that the events going on in the background has a mention.
Next, I think you need to add more detail to the character's backstory. It doesn't need to be super in depth, but your backstory should ideally show how they became who they are and tie in with the server's lore.
About your skills, for your character's age there's far too many. Some are appropriately leveled, but you'll need to lose some. Given your character's secluded and nomadic lifestyle, I would recommend that you drop persuasion and deception from the list. Also, martial arts is often formally trained, so without teaching it won't get far. Finally, melee weapons is too generic a term, I know that's how it's described in the skill guide, but I need you to be specific.
Finally, your character's backstory needs to end with them arriving in Nightveil, where our RP setting takes place in the Forbidden Lands.
That's all for now. Post again in this thread when you've made your edits and we'll see where that takes us.