07-02-2017, 12:58 PM
(07-02-2017, 08:24 AM)FireDog Wrote: Hey Zedyne,
I'll be grading your application as our usual Whitelister, Hutch, has his hands a tad full at the moment.
1. The backstory must END with your character arriving at the Forbidden Lands. The way you currently have your character story set up, he was born on the Forbidden Lands and travels to the Mainland.
Our setting takes place in the Forbidden Lands. Please adjust the story accordingly.
2. I'd like to see more character growth shown. As of now, I know how your character changed physically as he aged but not personality wise. How was he different as a child than how he is now? Please give more elaboration.
3. Finally, your character has too much in the skills department. Please refer to the skill guide here: http://www.mesalia.net/forum/showthread.php?tid=271
Quote:At say 25 you shouldn’t have more then MAYBE a single skill if it was taught exceedingly young, and said tutelage continued along with the accumulation of a great deal of experience.
Something important to note is that your character has 3 advanced skills, 4 apprentice and 2 competent.
Simply put, I'll need you to tone down how strong the character is at the moment. Please remove some skills and reduce how skilled your character is in others.
Thank you for applying to Mesalia! I look forward to the progress with your application! And to hopefully RPing with you in the future.
Application updated, skills re-evaluated and reclassified, additional information about childhood pesonality growth added.
Please inform me if anything else is missing or required.
I would aslo like to note that the updated skills my character has are interwined with one another, therefore cannot be degraded into a level that is going straight against his background story and skillset.
What survivalist won't be able to use a bow and arrow or an axe? Let's not make any jokes here.
On the other hand I made no note of skills that regard anything with culture, history or engineering, to emphasize his obvious lack of anything outside surviving in the wild. In other words: Zedyne is a simple man, blissfully ignorant - but open to learn.
P.s.: Zedyne's personality grew only this much throughout his life because he was exposed for only so much. If you have nothing but nature around you, you won't grow up into a world-famous poet, but into a man who can make do with what is around him.

