08-07-2017, 05:04 AM
Greetings, Jenny, I'm Zarkaylia and I'll handle your first run of feedback!
Timeline misunderstanding
Your character is 19, the Xitian were driven out 49 years ago (it's year 49 AV, as in 49 years After Veld). But this can be simply solved by changing the race of the invaders from Xitian to Mesalian. Maybe as a result of the Mainland's civil war? But then you might wonder, what about your character having never seen a Xitian? They're quite rare still in the Middle Realm, but she can either have met some at another time or just not yet. The sister is unfortunately unlikely to have joined a Lucin-Mesalian rebellion related to the Veld War, however.
Continent placement
The Mainland continent and the Forbidden Land continent has no land-border. They're separated by an ocean that takes about 6 IC weeks to cross, give and take. Nightveil also lies in the Forbidden Lands. Please adjust the story to correct this.
Skills
Jennifer is a bit too skilled for her age. Don't worry, skills can be improved through roleplay! But I suggest you try to find a line of profession(s) for her as it right now is a bit unclear what you want to do with her and I feel I can't put a finger on what to recommend for you. Except telling you to check out the skill guide a bit closer and keep your highest skill at competent to match her age. Generaly, characters have one main profession, possibly one on the side or for just-in-case, and maybe a hobby or two. The skills and your character backstory usually represent this. Some find their professions and hobbies through roleplay, of course, and we encourage that you make use of professions and skills to fuel roleplay.
Items
We're a server with heavy roleplay focus, using Minecraft as a platform. That means we have hunger and damage from mobs inactivated by the /minion command. It also means your items should keep in mind what your character would bring rather than what you need gameplay-wise. A staff member will give you IG-items to represent anything within reason and we have the ability to name the item for you. (Example: Jennifer owns a pendant her sister gave her, so we give you a gold nugget named "Jennifer's Pendant".) With this knowledge in mind I'd like you to just think over the items again as I feel Jennifer herself probably wouldn't carry around a bunch of coal and raw meat while a few coins still make sense.
Good luck!
If you have any questions, don't hesitate to PM me or Hutchy! Welcome and hope you're having a great day. ^^
- Zark
Timeline misunderstanding
Your character is 19, the Xitian were driven out 49 years ago (it's year 49 AV, as in 49 years After Veld). But this can be simply solved by changing the race of the invaders from Xitian to Mesalian. Maybe as a result of the Mainland's civil war? But then you might wonder, what about your character having never seen a Xitian? They're quite rare still in the Middle Realm, but she can either have met some at another time or just not yet. The sister is unfortunately unlikely to have joined a Lucin-Mesalian rebellion related to the Veld War, however.
Continent placement
The Mainland continent and the Forbidden Land continent has no land-border. They're separated by an ocean that takes about 6 IC weeks to cross, give and take. Nightveil also lies in the Forbidden Lands. Please adjust the story to correct this.
Skills
Jennifer is a bit too skilled for her age. Don't worry, skills can be improved through roleplay! But I suggest you try to find a line of profession(s) for her as it right now is a bit unclear what you want to do with her and I feel I can't put a finger on what to recommend for you. Except telling you to check out the skill guide a bit closer and keep your highest skill at competent to match her age. Generaly, characters have one main profession, possibly one on the side or for just-in-case, and maybe a hobby or two. The skills and your character backstory usually represent this. Some find their professions and hobbies through roleplay, of course, and we encourage that you make use of professions and skills to fuel roleplay.
Items
We're a server with heavy roleplay focus, using Minecraft as a platform. That means we have hunger and damage from mobs inactivated by the /minion command. It also means your items should keep in mind what your character would bring rather than what you need gameplay-wise. A staff member will give you IG-items to represent anything within reason and we have the ability to name the item for you. (Example: Jennifer owns a pendant her sister gave her, so we give you a gold nugget named "Jennifer's Pendant".) With this knowledge in mind I'd like you to just think over the items again as I feel Jennifer herself probably wouldn't carry around a bunch of coal and raw meat while a few coins still make sense.
Good luck!
If you have any questions, don't hesitate to PM me or Hutchy! Welcome and hope you're having a great day. ^^
- Zark