Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
[Approved] Application - JennyyKingsley
#1
IGN: JennyyKingsley
About you: I have played a few rp servers before and I would like to be called Jennifer or Jenny. I am 17 from the United States. I play volleyball and videogames.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Name: Jennifer Kingsley
Age: 19
Gender: Female
Appearance: 5'5, light blonde and pale skin. Slim with blue eyes.
Personality: Shy, innocent, and reserved yet hard working and determined.
Backstory: Jennifer was once a princess in Volikhar, a snowy tucked away region in the Middle Realm that had been clear of all the Xitian invasions and pillages. The kingdom was so isolated that she had never seen a Xitian and had only seen the pictures and heard of the tales from books and word of mouth. The kingdom had little knowledge about the civil war too, so little knowledge it was thought to be a rumor. However rumor come into reality as one day a group of Mesalians had somehow found out about Volikhar and began a raid and pillaging. The citizens, whether noble,royalty, or peasant were all raped or killed. The kingdom of Volikhar had crumpled to the ground, its once bright pale blue halls on fire, generations of history lost, her older sister, Juliet, had managed to take Jennifer and through all the chaos, sneaked out and escaped through a secret tunnel in the royal hall. The sisters had heard from their mother that if anything were to occur, there was a town that was hidden from the rest of the world, tucked away in a deep forest in the middle realm. Using whatever coin they had left with, they bought a quiet cozy cottage at the edge of the town. Since Volikhar was a quiet, low-key kingdom, no one really knew of the two sister princesses that had escaped. As far as the people who did know about Volikhar, the last the heard was that everyone had died, the entire royal lineage wiped out and the kingdom, forever lost. For the next decade, Juliet had taken sort of a motherly role and taught Jennifer skills that one would need such as sewing, cooking, clothes washing, etc. However Juliet had also taught Jennifer how to use a sword, shoot an arrow far and straight, and other combat skills. She became very proficient with the bow and hunting as that was her best skill that her sister taught her. Living on the cottage, Jenny became an apprentice at agriculture. She had to harvest wheat, carrots, and potatoes. She did this for a few years as well as her studies into medicine. Juliet had always had a knack for the art of healing and she taught what she could to Jenny. For a few years, Jenny learned the basics such as how to make simple tinctures and potions, along with some basic healing. Jennifer's reserved personality comes from the experience of living somewhat modestly and keeping her head down as Juliet always instructed because she was paranoid of people finding out that they are royalty. The two lived quietly and comfortably for a decade but one day came in where the sisters had to part ways. Juliet wanted to stay on the cottage for a longer time but Jennifer wanted to get out and explore the world. After travelling around the mainland for a bit, she finally decided to explore the forbidden lands. So she packed up her stuff and headed to a ship that headed straight to a town called Nightveil.
Skills: Hunting as a profession-competent (taught by sister). Apprentice at medicine, agriculture, and cooking(refer to updated story). Competent in reading and writing.
Items: Bow (enchanted would be best!) and arrows (128) Sword, Light armour, a little food and some coin.
Additional Comments: - Theweeknd is my dad.
#2
Greetings, Jenny, I'm Zarkaylia and I'll handle your first run of feedback!

Timeline misunderstanding
Your character is 19, the Xitian were driven out 49 years ago (it's year 49 AV, as in 49 years After Veld). But this can be simply solved by changing the race of the invaders from Xitian to Mesalian. Maybe as a result of the Mainland's civil war? But then you might wonder, what about your character having never seen a Xitian? They're quite rare still in the Middle Realm, but she can either have met some at another time or just not yet. The sister is unfortunately unlikely to have joined a Lucin-Mesalian rebellion related to the Veld War, however.

Continent placement
The Mainland continent and the Forbidden Land continent has no land-border. They're separated by an ocean that takes about 6 IC weeks to cross, give and take. Nightveil also lies in the Forbidden Lands. Please adjust the story to correct this.

Skills
Jennifer is a bit too skilled for her age. Don't worry, skills can be improved through roleplay! But I suggest you try to find a line of profession(s) for her as it right now is a bit unclear what you want to do with her and I feel I can't put a finger on what to recommend for you. Except telling you to check out the skill guide a bit closer and keep your highest skill at competent to match her age. Generaly, characters have one main profession, possibly one on the side or for just-in-case, and maybe a hobby or two. The skills and your character backstory usually represent this. Some find their professions and hobbies through roleplay, of course, and we encourage that you make use of professions and skills to fuel roleplay.

Items
We're a server with heavy roleplay focus, using Minecraft as a platform. That means we have hunger and damage from mobs inactivated by the /minion command. It also means your items should keep in mind what your character would bring rather than what you need gameplay-wise. A staff member will give you IG-items to represent anything within reason and we have the ability to name the item for you. (Example: Jennifer owns a pendant her sister gave her, so we give you a gold nugget named "Jennifer's Pendant".) With this knowledge in mind I'd like you to just think over the items again as I feel Jennifer herself probably wouldn't carry around a bunch of coal and raw meat while a few coins still make sense.

Good luck!
If you have any questions, don't hesitate to PM me or Hutchy! Welcome and hope you're having a great day. ^^

- Zark
 
#3
JennyyKingsley Wrote:Okay thanks! Its updated, let me know.
#4
Hello again, Jenny! I'm sorry for the one day wait, I couldn't find any time to look at this yesterday. Family trips! They happen over vacation times.

It looks better! Just a tiny few things left to sort out.

Skills
This is the most difficult to sort in an application, but we're here to help. Since you have chosen for your character to mainly be a hunter and reading and writing are normaly not adressed unless there's good reason, here's a few suggestions.

Hunting - Competent
Presuming she's taught how to hunt by someone (please specify this in your story), she's most likely at competent.

Agriculture - Apprentice
Please specify in your story when and how she was taught this.

Medicine - Apprentice
Please specify in your story when and how she was taught this.

Cooking - Apprentice
I feel this is already justified in the story.


The rest we can classify under knowledge and need no skill level. In general, it only need further mentioned if it's bellow the average or regards a secondary language:

"Knowledge
Literacy
Numeracy"
#5
Quote:Update (JennyyKingsley)

Hi! I just updated it. The updates are all in the story and also in the skills category, it is referenced back to the story for a better understanding. Thank you!
  


Forum Jump:

[Approved] Application - JennyyKingsley00