10-09-2017, 04:45 PM
Alright, Dark. Next round.
Only point about the backstory is I still need to see mention of the dusk portal reopening, it wasn't too long after the civil war ended. Given how the Xitians have meddled in the past, it would make sense for their to be some reaction.
Alright, finally just a few things to address in your skills. Take a look at your 'business' skill's rating and change it to match the scale. We've chosen not to class 'disguises' as a skill, so I'd suggest that it be changed to something like 'Acting', basically the same thing but acceptable. Finally, I'd suggest that you nail down a specific field of science to be skilled in as in general science is a pretty broad term.
And that's it for this round. Bump again when you've made your edits. Seems you're nearly done.
Only point about the backstory is I still need to see mention of the dusk portal reopening, it wasn't too long after the civil war ended. Given how the Xitians have meddled in the past, it would make sense for their to be some reaction.
Alright, finally just a few things to address in your skills. Take a look at your 'business' skill's rating and change it to match the scale. We've chosen not to class 'disguises' as a skill, so I'd suggest that it be changed to something like 'Acting', basically the same thing but acceptable. Finally, I'd suggest that you nail down a specific field of science to be skilled in as in general science is a pretty broad term.
And that's it for this round. Bump again when you've made your edits. Seems you're nearly done.