12-12-2017, 07:14 PM
Thanks Hutch! Here's what I got. The changes are highlighted in red, and I've provided a handy changelog!
Changelog:
-Added a sentence to the acrobatic skill to explain it's placement.
-Removed the Rune Engineering skill.
-Added a nerf / modifier to her integration of fire use and hand-to-hand.
-Took some clothes off the list, lowered quantities. Blabla. Now she has two outfits, a spare shirt for one, a cloak, extra socks and extra underwear.
-Added detail on her learning of history and old mesalian.
-Removed mention of rune engineering from backstory.
-Added more detail on the people of the circus to explain certain languages! The circus is meant to involve as many accepted lore cultures as possible, and I'd like to flesh it out in it's own lore proposal later with mentions of Provencian music, Northern Beastmasters, and a few other lore spots as well. Let me know if that's not acceptable.
Lastly, I did some thinking on your suggestion for her power attunement, and while I understand what you mean, I focused her on fire because we have more skilled fire focused xitians present. I'm hoping her quest to learn more about it will lead to a wellspring of good RP!
Thanks for your help, let me know if there's more I can do.
Changelog:
-Added a sentence to the acrobatic skill to explain it's placement.
-Removed the Rune Engineering skill.
-Added a nerf / modifier to her integration of fire use and hand-to-hand.
-Took some clothes off the list, lowered quantities. Blabla. Now she has two outfits, a spare shirt for one, a cloak, extra socks and extra underwear.
-Added detail on her learning of history and old mesalian.
-Removed mention of rune engineering from backstory.
-Added more detail on the people of the circus to explain certain languages! The circus is meant to involve as many accepted lore cultures as possible, and I'd like to flesh it out in it's own lore proposal later with mentions of Provencian music, Northern Beastmasters, and a few other lore spots as well. Let me know if that's not acceptable.
Lastly, I did some thinking on your suggestion for her power attunement, and while I understand what you mean, I focused her on fire because we have more skilled fire focused xitians present. I'm hoping her quest to learn more about it will lead to a wellspring of good RP!
Thanks for your help, let me know if there's more I can do.