[heikmar]

Here's my application:

IGN: heikmar

Why do you want to join?
I want to join because I would like to have a new unique roleplaying experience with a new story.

Do you have any RP'ing experience?
Yes. I've got alot of roleplaying experience from other game's (DayZ Arma3 Arma2...) and also Minecraft.

Tell us a bit about yourself:
Im 16 year's old finnish gamer. I like playing games like Minecraft, Skyrim, Arma and DayZ. I also like roleplaying alot. I really can not tell anything else. =(

Your Character Biography:
Well... My character is Bounty hunter. His name is Hank His grandfather lived during The Age Of Betrayal He told how terrible time it was. When Hank was young his grandfather taught him about engineering. Hank didn't learn anything. When hank was 15 his grandfather started writing and talking about mystic forces and all the weird stuff. In school, Hank learned about the broken portal. He realized that listening his grandfather would been important. Hank desperately tried to fix the portal every night. Without results. Hank doesn't really know about his father. He onily know's that his father was named Xultan. Hank's mother told him before her death that Xitans slayed Xultan. He wanted to revenge Xitans. In The Age Of Rebirth Hank was part of a secret alliance known as The Melians. Nobody else did not know about Melians. Hank had a girlfriend, named Ellen. Hank told Ellen about Melians. Soon The Melians found out that Ellen knew about them. They disbanded Melians right away.
Now some of the old members of The Melians took Ellen and now Hank is trying to revenge them and Xitans at the same time. The Civil war destroyed Hank's home and family. Hank worked for his uncle, until his uncle died. His uncle told him earlier that theres someone in The Forbidden Lands that could pay him more than his uncle. One night Hank stole a horse, and left to Forbidden Lands. He left his destroyed home and dead family. On the way to Forbidden Lands, Hank met a stranger that told him a secret: Ellen is somewhere in Forbidden lands. That made Hank feel better. For a moment.

Specify your character's skills:
Master: Sneaking, Disguises, Melee and Ranged Weapon skills
Expert: Climbing, Lockpicking
Advanced: Swimming, Pick pocketing
Competent: Survival , Acrobatics
Apprentice: Woodcarving
Novice: Leatherworking, Rune, Mechanical

Do your character bring anything to the setting (part from clothes)?
Hank has Night Hawk, (katana) Throwing knives, Invisiblity hood, Thunder Bow, Ellens necklace. (it has some kinda mystic forces)

Anything you'd like to add:
No nothing ™

Yeah here it is i hope you like it! =)

-heikmar

PS: I hope you anwser me soon! =) ™

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Sorry I forgot to put the [NEW] in the title. Im really sorry =(

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Uh sorry about the missing letters or dots, I made this in a huge hurry... School is a pain in the ass.

[Hutchy]

Hello, Heikmar. I'm Hutchy, and I'll be helping you through Whitelisting.

• ‘My character is assassin’ Unfortunately, we make a point of asking that new players not play this kind of character, for several reasons including; Assassin characters will have a very specific skill set that will not likely apply well within the setting and make it boring to play.

• Your backstory needs more relation to the setting's lore, which can be found here. There needs to be some relation to the lore to help us see how and why this character fits into the setting. What impact did the Civil War have on his home, his family? Does his family bear a grudge because of the slavery? Please elaborate on this.

• Your character’s backstory doesn't do a lot to explain personal growth over his life. The backstory needs to show more description of how he was as a child, how he was through adolescence and then into adulthood. It is necessary that we see how the character has changed over the years before arriving in the setting. Please work on this.

• Your character’s skills need to be worked on, and it’s current layout makes it difficult to understand the ‘level’ of her skills. I recommend that you read this guide and evaluate the layout of this section.

• As the last point, the character's backstory must end with their arrival in the Forbidden Lands, where the RP setting is located. Please add this to the backstory in your next edit.

That's all for now. Bump this thread when you have finished the necessary edits and we can continue.

[heikmar]

Ok I edited it. I hope you like it =)

[Hutchy]

Alright, Heikmar, round two.

• ‘My character is Bounty hunter’ My previous point about this kind of character still applies. Making this their dominant profession in the setting will quickly become boring, if not virtually unplayable from the get go. Assassins, bounty hunters, bandits and thieves of any kind will have this problem.
  It is acceptable if they were such in the past, but in setting they will be difficult to play and not get boring.
  If you need help deciding what you want your character to do or be, you can find a list of needed professions here.

• Overall, your backstory lacks the detail necessary for us to judge if the character is realistic and would fit into the setting. You can see an example of what we look for in terms of detail in this application here.
  ‘When hank was 15‘ As an example, 15 years has gone by with no description of between events. The backstory needs to be a fully detailed record of your character’s life leading up to their arrival in the RP setting.

• ‘his grandfather started writing and talking about mystic forces and all the weird stuff’ I can only assume you’re speaking of things like magic, which simply do not exist in this setting. Please revise this.

• ‘Hank desperately tried to fix the portal every night.’ While there are portals in the world, no one knows the first thing about portals; how they work, why some are ‘turned off’ and so on. Besides the Nether and Celestial Realm portals, only one has previously been found inoperable, meaning they are inconceivably rare.
  Additionally, this portal in the story has appeared out of nowhere, as my first point, you must add more detail to this otherwise vague backstory. This needs to be revised.

• ‘Hank doesn't really know about his father.’ You may want to reevaluate the order of this backstory as it seems to be in a bit of a non-sensical state, as this sort of part of the backstory is generally closer to the start, for example. Please evaluate this.

• ‘In The Age Of Rebirth’ The names of the ages are OOC, as in no one in the setting refers to them as such. Please revise.

• ‘The Melians’ As point one, who are they, what did they do, where did they come from? Especially, why, if they are so secretive, did Hank tell Ellen about them and make them immediately disband? We need more details.
  ‘Hank had a girlfriend, named Ellen’ When did Ellen come into his life? How long have they been together? Has it been an easygoing relationship? Please add more detail.
  ‘Now some of the old members of The Melians took Ellen and now Hank is trying to revenge them and Xitans at the same time.’ Why did they take her, when did they take her, what was Hank doing at the time?

• ‘One night Hank stole a horse, and left to Forbidden Lands.’ The Forbidden Lands is across a body of water from Main Continent, where most of the characters’ backstorys start. This boat journey can take months depending on where they start. Please revise.

• ‘On the way to Forbidden Lands, Hank met a stranger that told him a secret: Ellen is somewhere in Forbidden lands.’ While it’s acceptable that Hank doesn’t know this person, we need to know for the sake of judging if this character’s realistic. Please elaborate.

That's all for now. Bump this thread when you have finished the necessary edits and we can continue.

[Hutchy]

Trashed due to inactivity. Feel free to re-apply.