[Good_Old_Epsilon]

[center]Name: Daniel "Danny" Vancroft
Age: 20 (Birthday on the 13th)
Race: Mesalian
Gender: Male
Religion: Neutral, undecided.[/center]

Description

Daniel stood between 5"5 and 5"6, making him a rather short man for his age, with dark blonde hair and a fair complexion. His eyes were that of a sea mist, blue clouded with a thin layer of grey. His build was that of a scholar, so not very strong, however he did have a healthy amount of fat to balance it out. His hand-eye co-ordination was also something to behold, once he was focused on something.

In terms of clothing, he always seemed to be wearing a set of similarly dark teal colored vestiges, or robes that have trousers instead of a skirt. The edges and various parts of his robes had golden finishes, which were made from finely made material and dye. The robe itself was made of simple cotton, rather than silk as most people tend to presume, making it slightly sturdier and more durable. He often wore a hood when traveling, or when he simply preferred to keep out of sight. Finally, he had a set of finely made leather shoes, made of deer, and crafted by a professional shoemaker.

Backstory

Daniels parents were always a mystery to him, he never knew their names, nor who they were. You see, he never really had the chance to learn their names, as he was given up to the Whitehall Monastery at a very young age. One morning, he was simply left on the great steps of the majestic building, crying in what appeared to be a woven basket. The many monks who enjoyed peace and quiet when studying, almost immediately noticed his presence as his small, but shrill screams echoed across the front halls of the Monastery.

It was then, that Master Donatello, the Grand Inventor of the Monastery came down the steps to see the cause of the commotion. Everyone stared from their windows and from all around, as he picked up the distressed baby. It is then, that little Daniel slowly stopped crying, and looked up at the man who had the most calming smile painted on his face. As Master Donatello held the little boy, he examined the woven basket for any clues or items that might explain his arrival here. There was nothing, no letter from a distressed mother, no family heirloom of any kind... not even a toy left for the boy to play with. Nothing, it's as if the boy had no past.

It was then that Master Donatello, knew what he must do, as he took the child inside with him. He would raise him to be an educated man, give him a future that his parents obviously could not. He also gave him a name, Daniel Vancroft, as tribute to one of the greatest inventors and thinkers within the monastery. The boy has a destiny, and that of greatness, he thought.

As Daniel grew, Master Donatello became as much of a father to him as his teacher and mentor. It was him who taught him the principles of philosophy and the secrets of Mesalian History. They would spend hours together, alone in his lab, examining artifacts and thinking of different ways to see the world. However, one of the more astonishing studies they carried out were on various wooden models which they crafted together. Early designs of machinery, wooden cogs and switches, all in the name of making the life of Mesalian easier. One of Daniels first creations, was a small wooden scale that used a simple system of string pulleys to determine which item he placed on the arms was heavier.

Master Donatello was a patient teacher, as he understood Daniel like no-one else could. He would not get mad or angry at him whenever Daniel would stop listening to him to day-dream, as he knew that there was nothing he could do to change that. Daniels concentration was always a fickle thing, ever since he was a child, he would only listen to about half of what is being said to him at a time. This often made other lecturers and scholars rather annoyed, as they liked to brag about their inventions for hours to Daniel during their many lectures. Instead of listening to them, he preferred to slip into his own little world of creation and dream. Because of that, he was often accused of not paying attention to the more important lectures at the monastery and slipping in his studies. However, this was not because he actually was falling behind, he simply preferred a different medium of learning: books.

Many of the monks often saw Daniel sitting somewhere in the quiet corner of the library, with small stacks of books he has read sitting beside him. They were his best friends, they never complained, or needed anything from him. They would never send him away. He was also quite popular amongst the Librarian circle, often helping out with book keeping, organizing the library catalog and tending of the gardens outside. The librarians praised him for his good work and even gave him his very own key to the library as a reward for his efforts.

Apart from studying, Daniel was given a few responsibilities to carry out around the monastery. Cleaning the Mausoleum, Tending the Food Farms and Cooking twice a week. Of the three responsibilities, he loved tending the food farms and cooking the most, as he felt that nothing was more rewarding than cooking from your own produce. He also enjoyed the fact that he was able to go outside once in a while, and to daydream out under the open blue sky. Ever since then, his cooking gradually improved, as many of the Scholars praised his meals and often asked for seconds. He too liked his own cooking, as he would nip at ingredients before adding them into the pan. This combined with not much exercise and constant study, resulted in a small, healthy belly to grow on his stomach.

His peaceful life however, came to an end, as Master Donatello passed away due to his advanced age. Surrounded by his students and Daniel, it was a death worthy of a Grand Inventor. Daniel wept quietly as he saw his father, his teacher, his mentor and friend, slip into death and to the world beyond. He mourned his passing for a few months, as he locked himself in his room, to simply watch the world from outside his window. He loved panoramic views, especially those of mountains in the distance, as he would often stare at them for hours. This has proven to be his only escape from his sorrow, anything else reminded him of his deceased Father.

Too depressed to carry on his studies, he was quickly expelled from the monastery, now that he no longer had the backing of the Grand Inventor himself. Many of the lecturers and students rejoiced his exile, calling it unfair that he was given lee-way from the draconian rules of entry that many students had to tackle. He did not care much for their words, as he found their spite and arrogance unnecessary. Whatever reasons, he was escorted outside of his room and outside of the monastery walls, out into the big world outside.

Leaving his only home at the age of 19, he spent an entire year drifting from town to town in search of something to do. His rather academic set of skills made him a very poor worker, not to mention his general lack of strength and agility. Eventually he was allowed to work at a wheat farm, in return for a stack of hay to sleep on and a single meal a day. The work was tiresome, and the accommodation was measly compared to his comfortable life in the monastery. He was more than experienced in tending a farm, but not when he had to do it on a farm the size of ten barns put together. Not to mention he also had to feed the various animals in the barns every day, which didn't always go as according to plan.

He knew he couldn't live his life like this, his Master wouldn't want him to. He would want him to be out there, exploring, inventing and making a place for himself. Fortunately, one evening when eating his meal with the farmers, he overheard them talking about something called 'The Forbidden Lands'. He instantly became quite fascinated by the subject, as he listened carefully when they described a free land, where a Mesalian could start anew. A land of unknown, a land to explore. The rest of the conversation however, never reached his ears, thanks to his poor concentration. Otherwise he would have known how dangerous the Forbidden Lands actually were.

His hopes were to leave the farm the next day, give the farmers a warm goodbye and maybe even get some food for the travel. During that very evening however, barely moments after their supper, he was forced to run for his life. Like a thunder from the sky, or an avalanche from the mountains, soldiers and all sorts of other 'barbarians' stormed the farm by force. Screams of women and loud protest of horses almost rang in the air as the attackers were determined to pillage the peaceful farm for supplies and more. Like a bucket filled with ice-cold water, the world reminded Daniel of the on-going Civil War that ravaged the local lands. There was nothing he could do, he didn't know how to fight, and certainly could not defend the poor woman who was slowly taken away by those filthy barbarians. All he heard were brief but loud screams from beyond the wall of his locked room. He felt afraid. He felt terrified for his life. He knew they would eventually come after him too.

So he ran, as he took the nearest open window he was standing by, jumped out, and then ran, ran as fast as he could. All he heard behind him as he ran, were the war cries, let out by men who believed in a new world order. -Their- new order, whatever it was. They never bothered chasing him, they had what they wanted, they captured and took hold of the farm.

As Daniel walked down the road, with the farm a small mile behind him, he had no other choice but to start his journey to these so called Forbidden Lands. Not exactly the start of an adventure he wished for, and certainly not with all of the killing and chaos, but there was nothing he could do back there. There was nothing he could do, he repeatedly re-assured himself. He was not a fighter, but an inventor and a scholar; his tool was the ruler and chisel, never a sword. Somehow though, that did not make him feel any better.

Eventually he arrived to the nearest port town, and using the few last remnants of coin he still had in his pockets, he bought a place on a trading ship cruising for the Forbidden Lands. The ship was filled with all sorts of shady characters, including various "degrees" of Xitians and Lucins. All of them hoped to start anew, away from the Civil War of the middle-lands, just like him. He never really had a problem with other races, but he simply did not trust them enough either. Nights on the ship were not cozy, as he felt almost squashed with so many people around him. This is where the next chapter in my life would begin, he thought, let's hope it won't be as turbulent as the last one. The ship sailed, drifting slowly over the deep waters, forwards into the world of unknown.

Skills

What he can do:
- Intermediate Woodwork (Taught by his Mentor, lots of experimentation.)
- Novice Cooking (Had to work in the Kitchens for quite some time.)
- Novice Farming/Gardening (Had to work on the food farms.)
- Basic Organizational Skills (Helping out in the Library.)
- Can Read, Write and Count (Started reading at a young age and was taught by his Mentor)
- Knowledge - History (Taught by his Mentor and various books.)
- Knowledge - Philosophy (Taught by his Mentor and various books.)

Please do remember that he devoted all his time in the Monastery, towards studying. That, minus a few years where he was a normal child, he would have a good twelve years worth of of education.

What he can't do:
- Fight, in any way. He is not battle-trained.
- Build a house, lacks Stonemasonry and so forth.
- Use Alchemy, or be a Physician.
- Create Runes.
- Hunt for meat, can't be a hunter.
- Work with metal, can't be a Blacksmith.
- Mine, not even surface mining.

Personality

He has Absent-minded and has Poor Concentration. He finds it hard to concentrate on someone talking to him for long, and often ends up day-dreaming about whatever thought manages to distract him at the time. This also makes him rather slow to react.

He has Poor Social Skills, and doesn't actively seek people. This is due to the amount of time he has spent studying alone or with only one person at a time. He doesn't always understand the consequences of his gestures. He also wasn't a very social person when he was a child, preferring to play alone.

He is Pedantic and Stubborn, especially about his own work. This is mostly because of his poor concentration. If people were to start manipulating what he was doing mid-way, he would lose concentration and become frustrated. He is not used to working with other people, so what he does, he sees as the only correct solution.

He is somewhat Naive, due to his lack of concentration and his inability to analyze peoples actions properly. He often goes with what people say, because he can't think of what their hidden agendas might be. Unless it's obvious, he won't realize someone is trying to fool him.

He can be Kind and Polite most of the time. This comes from his inoffensive and peaceful nature. He doesn't like conflict and doesn't like being put under stress, so he is nice to people but not to the point of extreme. He can also be quite Kind sometimes without realizing it, once again thanks to his lack of concentration.

He is Cowardly and avoids all combat at all costs, this comes from the fact he lived in a Monastery most of his life, surrounded by walls and people to keep him safe. This means he will be more likely to scream and run away from battle, than actually fight the enemy.

He is highly Independent, Introverted and prefers to work alone. Once again this is credited to studying on his own in the Monastery, surrounded by stacks of books. He can organize himself well enough to achieve results, but ordering other people would be rather impossible for him.

He is a Slow Learner when taught by a teacher, as his mentor was the only person who was able to get to him and teach him. However, he does have a knack for learning on his own. Given the materials and the time, he is more than likely to learn the subject at least partially.

He shows Hidden Potential when truly focused, given enough time and left alone. It is during these times that he can truly focus his concentration and make things work. It is also during those times that he is most creative. It does not happen often however but is something to behold nonetheless.

If he is ever Pushed too much, he becomes Agitated and Angry, finding it hard to concentrate 'with other people breathing down his shoulder'. It is best to leave him alone during those times, to allow him to simmer down and regain his control.

Interests

- Sight-seeing, likes panoramic views.
- Peace and Quiet.
- Books, he loves reading those.
- Tending his Garden, making food from his own produce.
- Collecting artifacts of the past.
- History
- Philosophy

Fears

He is somewhat afraid of Crowds and finds it unnerving to be around one, not to a point of phobia. He simply prefers to be in places that more quiet and devoid of people, to help him concentrate.

He is somewhat afraid of Failing, or making something that's imperfect when he finally focuses on it. This causes him to become somewhat a perfectionist, constantly polishing his creation in fear of it being imperfect. He is also afraid of failing his Master, who trained him to be the best he can be. [center]((Thanks for giving me the idea for this one 'Chelle :3))[/center]

He is very afraid of Combat, as he runs away at the nearest opportunity. He finds blood, fighting and getting hurt absolutely terrifying as a concept, let alone an experience. A Murderer trying to kill him would have him running for the hills screaming. He is unlikely to try and defend anyone, even if it is the right thing to do.

He doesn't quite understand Relationships, and he is somewhat afraid of them due to inexperience. Once he realizes someone is making an advance, he begins to stutter and stumble on his own words.

Long Term Objectives

- Find a home, a house to live in.
- Start a garden of his own, make some good food.
- Get hold of some interesting books.
- Explore the land, uncover its secrets, recover artifacts (if any).
- Invent and/or create something worth his Master.
- Continue to improve his knowledge and skills.

[Demotheus]

Question : Are you staff? O.O

[Good_Old_Epsilon]

I am an Ex Staff, and have been on the server for a long time now. The idea is being discussed by staff as far as I was told, so I guess sit tight for now.

[Good_Old_Epsilon]

I edited it slightly, correcting a few grammatical mistakes and adding a few things to balance it out. I also added Long Term Objectives for this character.

Edit: Okay, I have edited this post over 21 times now. I'm going to leave it alone, hopefully I polished it enough for it be passed through.

[Michelle]

Thanks for waiting, and it’s nice to see you back.

1. Your submission requires proofreading, mostly in attention to tense changes mid-sentence. This has made your submission difficult to follow, and thus difficult to review. Please revise.
2. “What he lacks in strength however, he surpasses with agility, and with more than capable hand-eye coordination.”
Why would someone who spends much time daydreaming and reading be particularly agile? Please revise.
3. Lore issues:

• • a) "Daniel was born into a family of Ambassadors, as both his father and mother worked in the embassy building within the Mesalian Capitol."
    It is unclear as to whether you mean a capital or capitol (please clarify and/or revise), but neither would exist for the entire Middle Realm. The same applies for an embassy and an ambassador. However, capitals/capitols, embassies and ambassadors might exist for a kingdom, nation or some other great civilisation within the Middle Realm; this is an option you could pursue, but if you intend on this civilisation being well-known, you must provide a lore proposal for it. Please consider and act accordingly.
    b) “the fragile politics of the freshly born Mesalian government”
    Like the previous point states, this implies that there is one government for the entire Mesalian race/the Middle Realm/the Mainland. This is not the case. Please revise.
    c) “A crowd of Mesalian Opposition stormed the embassy, killing most of the staff, including the two Ambassadors who lived there.”
    This is confusing and unclear. Who are/is the ‘Mesalian Opposition’? Why are they so important as to have their name be capitalised? Why would the civil war be a motive for their actions? Please clarify and/or revise.[/list:u][/list:u]
    
    4. Skill issues –While the skills you list are a refreshing break from the other characters you’ve played, your character has too many skills in too many different fields for his age. It is important to note that characters who have deep, abstract knowledge in a field often lack many practical skills. Please consider the following points:
    • • a) “- Basic Organizational Skills
        - Basic Merchant/Trader Skills”
        Nothing in your character’s backstory seems to justify these skills, even at a base level. Please remove and/or clarify.
        b) “- Advanced Cooking
        - Advanced Food Farming/Gardening (Small-Scale)
        - Intermediate Woodwork (Artistic, Small-Scale)”
        The skill levels listed for these skills are considered too high for someone who did them as ‘odd jobs’ for fourteen years. I recommend taking all three down a level. Please revise.[/list:u][/list:u]
        5. Your character’s general personality seems archetypal and basic. Staff would like to see it pushed and elaborated on further. I would recommend expanding on each trait that is listed as opposed to just listing them for a start. Please elaborate and/or revise.
        6. “- Sight-seeing, likes panoramic views.”
        This seems to conflict with your character’s fear of heights.
        7. The fears you list for your character don’t seem particularly note-worthy; they’re mostly common phobias. The list itself seems thrown in at the last minute and lacks depth and justification. Why these fears and not others? Why wouldn’t he be afraid of more abstract concepts such as failure, or trying new things? It’s also unclear if this list is meant to be exhaustive. As a whole, I find the list a bad idea as fears aren’t always very concrete things which can be comprised in a list. Please reconsider and revise.
        
        Overall, I see this general concept as having potential and I like how you're going in a different direction, but this wasn’t a very smooth read and I personally get the sense that I’m supposed to be familiar with something external (such as another text, or something cultural) to understand your character’s backstory. If this is the case, then you need to revise this so it is clear and explicit to all. Also, for emphasis: please pay extra attention to your use of tense for the sake of my sanity. That’s all, for now. Again, thanks for waiting patiently. Good luck.