[SentaiPink]

Hey guys, So do you remember this little gem I made some time ago?

Sure you do. So I've always had a deep passion for comic books and while I'm not promising I will actually make one, I would like some input on a Mesalia based story for one. So what the idea for this thread is the loose bases for a simple plot that could be made into a short story. I'll deal with the pacing and getting the writing into comic script-format and everything, but to be honest, I'm not nearly as good a writer as I am an artist so I'm reaching out to you guys.

So here are a few things that this story needs to contain, or not contain.

• It cannot contain previous or current settings OR characters. There is too good a chance that there could be a conflict of copywrite and a misrepresentation of the lore.
  
• It must contain relation to our current lore, IE Lucins, Xitians, the wars.
  
• It must be realistic. (Essentially all the requirements for character apps)
  
• You must be willing to give me creative control over the concept if I deside to use it.
  
• The story has to have some sort of conflict to keep readers intrested and progress the story
  
• A relativly small cast, we want to keep the story focused and show growth for the characters involved.
  
• You can use any lore in the lore section
  

Few other things to keep in mind is that I'm trying to do this as a little side project, stories involving huge settings, wars, massive battles and things like that, while epic in theory, are extremely difficult and time consuming to draw. So I will keep that in mind but that doesn't mean a rejection of an idea involving these things, it just means I'm weary of them. Keep in mind that conflict comes from more then simply people clashing but culture and communities as well.

That being said what I'd like is a short synapses, a prose summery of the plot and the story you have in mind, the characters and some insight into how they may grow as a result of this story. You can use this handy-dandy layout I've provided below. Please don't by shy, there aren't really any bad answers, and don't feel bad if I can't or don't use your idea, I'm hopeful this will be communal brain storming at it's best. Maybe even more then one idea will be combined to get the results I'm hoping for. We shall see! Thank you all ahead of time for your time and help.

Story name:
If you have a title put one here, I'll need to call the idea something.
Protagonist:
List the names of the primary protagonist's, a short description of their personality and what growth (if any) they may see in the story.
Antagonist:
List the names of the primary Antagonist's, a short description of their personality and what growth (if any) they may see in the story.
Setting:
Describe and/or name where this story takes place. Woodlands, desert, town, city, just a gist of what this place is and any story-specific elements that need mentioned. The setting can be just as important as the characters themselves.
Plot Summery:
The meat and potatoes, essentially what happens, how the characters are involved and challenged. What do they do in response? How do they overcome what's happened? Do they make matters worse first? Is there a happy ending? I don't need nor want a novel, just something short and specific. I'm not really going to gripe on writing so long as I can understand and read what's being proposed.
Notes:
Anything else you think's important.

Code:

[b]Story name:[/b]

[b]Protagonist:[/b]

[b]Antagonist:[/b]

[b]Setting:[/b]

[b]Plot Summery:[/b]

[b]Notes:[/b]

[Brewstone]

Story name:
A Realm, awoken. A belief, shattered.

Protagonist:
Umbriel "Umber" Malakal:
A young girl, around the age of ten. She stays mostly with her brother Hope, and tries to be strong for him. She agreed to go explore the wonders of this new world with him, but is still afraid of what she might find. In the Dusk Realm, she does her best in schooling, and seems to have a natural inclination for fire, but her other abilities are weak compared to the other children.

Hope Malakal:
Umbriel's older brother. He does his best to watch over her. Because he has taken on this self imposed role of guardian, he has taken to mastering earth and nether, so as to keep his family safe from danger. At the age of 16, he still has much progress to be made, but his skills are praiseworthy. As a result of his focus, his control over fire is almost negligible. He has taken to being strong for his sister, physically and emotionally, and does his best to hide when he's afraid or angry. He has a hard time thinking when his sister is in danger.

Antagonist:
Opening of the portals:
These would be a time of wonder and fear for all involved. A whole new race? With different abilities? A plane where the power of Xitians is reduced? A plane that kills all who enter it, but houses another race? Truly, a time of wonders.

Middle Realm:
A realm where an Xitian's powers are reduced simply by being here? A worry-some place indeed. Potentially new animals and other strange things? How could this place even exist?

Lucins:
A dangerous people, the stronger ones being able to kill with a gesture. They seem to mostly exist as an opposite to what we are, and that makes them horrifying. Is this some sick joke that Salazar is playing? Tensions are high under the best of circumstances with the Lucins, anything abnormal and there is a real chance for violence.

Celestial Realm:
Taking one step through this portal robs an Xitian of his strength and he dies soon after. What kind of horrible realm is this?

Setting:
Dusk Realm:
Capital of the Dusk Realm, near the site of the portal construction. Hope and Umbriel can be from any walk of life, whichever comes out to make the most sense. As such, the city would be tinted in their eyes. It would give us a chance to see Xitians in all their glory, but also before they began to be so warlike and aggressive.

Middle Realm:
This would mostly be along trade routes, as Xitians are selling their wares. However, the curiosity of children is insatiable, and there would be some other locations explored.

Celestial Realm: The high amount of Aether is lethal to Xitians. This realm would have to be avoided except for following other characters or something.

Plot Summary:
Emperor Salazar enters the Dusk realm, in all of his shining magnificence. Who is this man? What is he doing here? The echos whisper around the square as he slowly approaches a platform, reserved for public announcements. He begins to speak, and describes another world. Another land. His words are suddenly lost when a speaker shouts out, "HIS EYES AREN'T RED!" A panic ensues as people rush to flee, but they are trapped. They will hear the words of this man. Construction on the portal to the Middle Realm begins at once, and Umbriel watches in fascination. Her brother Hope is right beside her, keeping one arm around her shoulder as he too watches, fascinated. Time skips forward again as the portal finishes completion, and Umbriel and Hope are both slightly older. A caravan is called forth to be the first to leave our world, possibly forever, and Umbriel dashes forward, through the crowd, her brother left to wallow as he tries to catch up. The two children make it to the caravan and ride alongside many others, hoping to explore this new world. The world shifts as the caravan makes its way to a predefined location, set by Emperor Salazar himself. The Xitians are unsure of what to expect, but they distrust the Emperor. Another caravan rolls into view, and the people riding it start shouting and waving. Despite the distance their voices could be heard clearly. They were looking for the Xitian caravan, they were instructed by Emperor Salazar as well. The Xitians wave a banner of fire, to signal the other caravan, and it stops short. As the Xitians approach the other group, they see something strange. There isn't any fire on the caravan, the wheels made of wood and not perfectly shaped stone. The eyes of these new people were blue...

Notes:
Essentially it tells the story of the Xitians before, during, and after Salazar's construction of the portal. Meeting the Lucins, life under Salazar, how Xitians live in the Dusk Realm. It's all relatively un-touched. This would need some major lore checking and fact confirming, but it could tell an interesting tale of a proud people brought low by a god-like man. The times under the Lore tab were a bit vague, so it might require some restructuring to make the time line fit.

[LuckyLeaf]

Story name:

A Wet Flame

Protagonist:

(Names open to changes)

Cymel Tyrance

A man of Xitian birth, who's lost a leg during the Purges. He's a simple farmer but an effective one when paired with his wife.

Lumen Tyrance

A woman of Lucin birth, who has prevented her husband from losing more limbs during the purges. She helps out her husband in farming,

Tinder Tyrance

The couple's son. He's a Luxit, and is basically struggling to stay alive.

Antagonist:

Well, pretty much everything.

They have a son, for one, that is a Luxit.

The time is right after the Purges, so everyone is pretty much out to kill them too.

Setting:

A few years after the Purges, in a part of the land sparsely populated.

Plot Summery:

What is there to say? A Lucin and an Xitian fell in love, and against all odds, had a baby. They managed to escape getting murdered by everyone else that wanted them dead, but now they are struggling to keep their beloved son alive anyway.

Notes:

I have much more details on this story, but I like to throw concepts out first and the details later. If Pink likes the sound of this, well then, I can update the post to contain much more.

---

Story name:

A Sage

Protagonist:

(Names open to changes)

Yade (Yipper) Trade

The main character. He's stuck between two choices: choose to marry his lover, or choose to stick with his grandfather, who's gone senile.

Wade Trade

Yade's grandfather. He believes he's one of the Seven Sages.

Antagonist:

Hyra Mance

The woman of Yade's life, the one and only, and the one that can't stand Yade's grandfather the most.

Setting:

Some years into the Civil Wars, in a town like any other.

Plot Summery:

In the times of war amongst the Mesalians, there is a man who lost his parents to the war efforts. Brought up by his grandfather, his only remaining relative, he now has to decide whether to let his grandfather go, as he's seemingly gone insane. The main reason being that the woman he loves dearly does not wish to have the old man as a burden in their happy and newly wed life.

Notes: Same goes here, lots of stuff. This story's probably going to be more comical than melodramatic, but well, it remains to be seen.

---

Story name:

Gold and Beer

Protagonist:

Riley Hamn "The Shrew"

A thief, a pickpocket, a breaker of law. He's a wily character that isn't afraid to break into a house right beside a barracks.

Frimn Ironheart "The Digger"

A miner from the good old town of Linedia. She's happy as long as she gets good food and good beer, and of course, digging, although it usually involves digging into houses.

Glave Niiks "The Brawler"

A seasoned warrior that's been discharged with dishonor, (he boxed his senior officer, broke his nose he did) he likes to fight with his fists, even when faced with swords.

Dave Yoade "Stupid"

Stupid.

Antagonist:

I guess you could say, every town and city they stole from?

Setting:

During the Civil Wars, definitely. They would take advantage of the conflicts.

Plot Summery:

A band of thieves, looking for pretty coins. Lots of drinking, lots of thrill.

Notes: I can see a lot of comedy potential from this, and loads more panels of the characters in action as opposed to talking. In any case, I think I'll pause here. Three should be enough for now.

[Rokku_Ryu]

Story name: The Heist

Protagonist: Anti-Hero, Samuel Richards.

Antagonist: Every guard, hired Merc, and stone wall in his way.

Setting: In Provencia, more exclusively the cities treasury.

Plot Summary: In Provencia, a massive city, and thriving economic hub of the mainlands, there is a man. Samuel Richards, according to any guard, or member of the government, doesn’t exist. He is a legend who is attributed with several thefts that they will insist never actually happened. He is something vagrants and thieves created as their mascot, and most likely, scapegoat. What they won’t tell you, is that he is very real, and they have been unable to catch him.

That is, until they set a trap for him. Tired of finding holes in the bottom of guarded transport wagons, emptied of their treasures, and official merchants having their vaults raided, they devised a trap, that no thief could resist. They broke ground in the spring, and by late fall, had constructed the New Provincian Treasury department. Thick stone walls, windows, only one feet wide, and twenty feet up from the ground. More guards than the city had any right assigning. Locked door after locked door, to the center vault, that was guarded by four standing guardsman at all times. They planned it all. This would be the final heist of Samuel Richards. And would make an example of him when caught.

All of the towns money was safely, and publicly, moved into the new treasury. That night, all the guards stood alert, waiting for anything to happen. But nothing did. The second day, again, full staff for 24 hours, and nothing happened. This continues on for a week, two weeks, a whole month… Exactly one month after it was opened, on a moonless night, the first sound is heard in the fortified building. A window being shattered. And then another… on the opposite side. Then like thunder, all the windows shatter. Provinsia, the city of commerce and wealth has a very dark underside, and no shortage of thieves. They poured in, dozens of them all rushing with small knives and nothing to lose. They thought they’d had enough guards, after all, only one man was supposed to come, not thirty. The thieves navigated the structure flawlessly. Each and every one of them knew the layout, some of them even having a crude map and instructions written in ink on their hands.

The four guards watching over the vast gold and gems heard the commotion, coming outside of the only door into the room. Thinking this was Samuel Richards, they rush out, locking the door behind them, and going to confront the noise. When all was said and done, not a single thief made it to the vault. Some were killed, most maimed, and the rest captured or retreated. The guards grinned to one another, happy their defenses couldn’t be brought down by the entirety of the thieves, and though Samuel never showed, it was still a victory.

Until they returned to the vault. When the door was opened, the echoing sound of the keys being dropped was all that could be heard. All of the gold, all of the diamonds and emeralds were gone. The solid stone room was still intact, no entry from the outside.

What the legend never got right was that Samuel Richards wasn’t just a master thief. He wasn’t just a master of distraction and stealth. Samuel Richards was a pure blood Xitian. And on that night, his eyes glowed a deep red as he shifted all of the earth under the vault, and moved all of it to his tunnel. Why had he waited a month? Well, the guard had done a very good job of securing the building. It took him a month to move the earth to make the tunnel, to find out exactly where the vault was located (He stalked a bar that some of the guards went to for weeks before he got the information he needed) and to arrange all of those thieves. He’d need a big enough distraction to do what he needed. In the end, Provincia never found the tunnel, and never saw any of that money, ever again. Samual Richards left Provincia in the cover of darkness, knowing that he had taken every last bit of gold the city had, with a grin.

Notes: In comic form, you wouldn’t see Sam until the very end, or at the very least, a cartoonized version where his eyes are obscured. The big pay off that he’s a Xitian is saved till the end.

[SentaiPink]

Just a little bump to let you guys know I still would like some input! I'm still looking for that charmed little story.

Brew- "A Realm, awoken. A belief, shattered."
You have an interesting story to tell but the majority of what you have is the setting for which it happens. Not a lot of information as far as WHAT kind of conflict these characters face or how it really effects them. Just more so the environment, said setting also opens up more lore questions then I'm prepared to deal with at the moment.

I'd like to try to find a time period closer to the current for the setting so as to avoid lore points I may not know or want to resolve.

Thank you for contributing, I'd love to see what else you've got for me.

--*@*--

Young - "A Wet Flame"
Again this story doesn't provide a clear story arch for me to work off of. Luxits are another part of the lore I'd rather not poke, as it's sort of this wiggly gray mass we know can happen but have never seen.

Young- "A Sage"
This one has a conflict with established sage lore. So I can't use it ;^;. I don't know if I can explain it here so ask me in staff if you want to know.

Young- "Gold and Beer"
I like this one but it has a few problems we'd need to work out, for a short story it has a few too many characters, and again there isn't any clear plot of what their hijinks ultimately end up being, what trouble they find themselves in and how this effects their lives long-term.

Thank you for your input, i know you've more ideas so lets either work out some kinks in "Gold and Beer" Or hear some more (Both would be great!)

--*@*--

Rokku -"The Heist"
This is going to sound so terribly biased.

You have a story outline I can follow and a small enough cast to make it work, this is exactly the sort of story I'm looking for with the small problems being the setting, and having the main character hidden is quite challenging. I also hate the name Samual Richards.

I'm not entirely sold, Can you give me more ideas or start by changing his stupid name?

--*@*--

------------------------

So thank you everyone who's contributed. I still would like some input if anyone has one. Even if the ideas lack clear plots like some of the ones given that doesn't mean a story can't be worked out. We can expand and develop ideas into the gem we want but the first step is throwing them out there so we can have a look. I know I'm being rather picky, but to be honest this is going to be months of work for me and if the story doesn't work then I will hit a wall and all those months will be for nothing.

Thank you again everyone, and I hope more of you have ideas to contribute!