[Zarkaylia]

>_>

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......................I started these again a few months ago. To help myself keep track of all the roleplay and the many events when there's so much and I'm so busy. When I joined Mesalia I was encouraged to keep a character journal and trust me I did. I don't think there are many left that remember the first one but at the end of that forum I counted to near a hundred entries written for Zark and about 30 for Netha. The last 30 which there was ridiculous amounts of effort put into.

I'll be going back to the more sane amount of effort. Writing helps me as much as it helps the character Zarkaylia, but I have little time to dive into details. As does she most of the time, convenient.

That said, the ones I started with are rubbish. I started off with just lists of what she may write about and then wrote small notes. There's the occasional random full entry. Those I'll not publish or try to rewrite at all, I've decided to start off at the end at the Alroc map and hopefully manage to keep it up during next map. No guarantees however, I stopped the writing once for a reason.

I've three simple starter entries and I'm unlikely to write really really long entries unless I find the time and the fun in it to be great. These are all touched up today so they'll have today's date. Yes, they start sometime mid-journal and may seem confusing that way.

One's free to comment, mention corrections needed, etc. Just, no pages-long grammar Nazi behaviors. I write it and I post, my English isn't perfect and I don't have time to review each entry like were it an essay. This is just for my own and maybe others' fun. I hope people can enjoy some of it. This first post's likely to be updated in the future.

Obviously, there's copyrights on these kinds of stuff.

***

Zarkaylia carries a small brown leather book in her pouch. It's her journal. She rarely at all leaves it at home unless she find a reason to and then puts it in one of the now emptied bookshelves instead. The old warrior have a habit of writing every day as a way to meditate and relax, a habit she have kept alive for decades. A hobby of sorts. Whenever there's free time to spare she writes literature that she's so far kept well hidden from the world and usually end up sending to her daughter Netha. Zarkaylia's handwriting's tilted, even and 'sharp' instead of rounded.

[Zarkaylia]

2014-10-10: 1

It brings me little joy to write this day. I have said my farewells to my dear friend Orri and she’s gone to where I can’t even pass by for a visit. I hope she does as much good for Atarsis as she dreams of.

The knighting went well, my friend was well deserved of it. The banquet after was quite something as well, I have never experienced its like. Chathra and Koi really showed off their skills and it makes me wonder if I shouldn’t see to festivities like these occurring more often.

I’m not sad to be rid of the boy, that I have to admit. A bit of a burden’s been lifted off my shoulders and he’s now someone else’s problem. After what the boy have done to an innocent relative of the one who ordered my assassination out of nothing but biased opinion, ignoring his fellow guards’ advices, I’d have had to rid of him. I’d call it a shame he’s not gonna pay for the act if not for the fact he’s gone for good.

It’s a terrible shame that he takes with him one of the best people this town has. But Orri had made her choice and I support it, wishing her well in her future endeavours and in life. Stars help that little shit Daulton if he lets her down.

Alroc somehow feels more empty without Orvich around. Well, to me that is. It is a strange feeling. A feeling of something missing, yet the woman’s alive and hopefully well. Not that I’m able to sleep before I know she arrived to her new home safely, but I find the lack of her presence makes the town appear more grey. I have to admit I feel more saddened than I even thought I would.

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2014-10-10: 2

It has been a few days since they left and I’m trying to handle the more formal matters. I’ve had to take the title Guard Captain again for a while and I hope that Victor will take the title soon enough. But as I told him myself; I’m not handing it over without him earning it again. He’s in the past proven how bad he can be with the role. I want to be convinced he’s a better man than back then and that I can actually trust him to carry the responsibility and burden.

Zaira’s had to be taken in as junior guard to try to make up for the holes in the guard force, but we’re nowhere near what we need to be. My guard’s too small and inexperienced. I’ll see how it goes with putting more lamps up around town, but I still think it’ll only be a matter of time before we suffer greater problems with the dusk. I worry for our youngest guards, Bishop and Zaira, but I have to have faith in them and their abilities.

Victor didn’t know it was Morath that took Nerissa by force. His reaction to the news was as expected to suddenly learn of it, I was so certain he was aware that my brother and Nerissa’s rapist is the same person. The way he looked at me wasn’t pleasant, but he at least assured me he was just shocked. It came up as I told him I wished to apologize to the woman about what was done to her by the Alroc guard but wasn’t sure she wished to see me right now. I’m not sure in what way we can compensate her, but if there’s a way I’d like to do it. It shames us all what was done to her in the name of Alroc and its laws.

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2014-10-10: 3

I’ve bombarded poor Ezri with letters by now. Without Orvich here I find myself without anyone to turn to.

I thought of talking to Lapis, but I’m already enough of a bother to the girl. To not mention she has plenty of her own problems to deal with and I’m probably both old and boring in her eyes. To not mention a monster it appears.

I wish I could speak with my daughter. But Estelle’s no interest in sharing with her mother it seems. Maybe it’s the age, but I’m afraid she rather I leave her alone entirely. Admittedly, she’s a young woman by now. She’s about ready to leave the home and live on her own and Zaira’s not far behind her. I’ve not considered talking with Zaira till now, but same problem applies. I don’t doubt she’d be alright with talking, but she’s got so much going on for her I don’t question her staying away almost whole days.

Maybe I should try Spy after all. His illness keeps me from discussing or talking about some things, but there shouldn’t be any harm in this topic.

A last resort may as well be to head to the inn and have a chat with Chathra.

[Zarkaylia]

2014-10-11

We lost Alroc. Middle of the damn night as I waited for my last patrol I heard a terrible noise and rushed out of the house to be met with what I thought a nightmare for several seconds. The dam broke, water rushed in and flooded half the town. Destroying so much in its wake. It must’ve been all the rains we had lately. I’ve never seen anything like it since the storm that flooded Auria, Stars help us all. I did what I could and we got ourselves out of there, there was nothing else to do. We’re homeless again, but Umbraie strike me down if I’m not amazed at the luck we’ve had. Only a few injured and none gravely. We made it to a ship at the dock in time, thank Stars. The captain wasn’t glad and calls me an old crone, but who the fucking Nether cares. He’s taking us to an abandoned place he knows of a week up the coast.

I feel upset. I’d not realized how much I’d come to call Alroc my home or how much I cared for the town’s well being. So much hard work destroyed and so many ripped from their lives and homes. All the water was like a nightmare come true and this ship, I hate this ship, I’m already getting sick. I feel imprisoned here. It’s going to be a long week at sea.

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2014-10-11
The captain have told me the name of the abandoned town is Nightveil. Though he doesn’t care about anything other than dropping us off someplace, he and his crew keep mentioning it being cursed. Sailors and their bullcrap.

Stars have some mercy. I’m going to have to throw up again.

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2014-10-11
We’ve arrived safely in Nightveil. But I feel weak and exhausted, Lapis have taken me to a bed to rest. Which I very much welcome. I’ve not had a night’s proper rest for weeks and could barely keep any food for the last week at sea. I guess it became a little too much for these old bones. I will sleep, hopefully long and well. Then with some food and water in me on top of that I should be able to take a proper look around this town tomorrow.

Then before the ship leave us again I better get some letters send before people start to think I died again. One would think after all these years they'd know to find a corpse first before making conclusions.

[Zarkaylia]

2014-10-11

During a walk I ran into Chathra and Hector. They’re cleaning up the tavern kitchen and have found a strange door. They had several theories on what its for, including it being servants’ tunnels. It could also be another room for all we know. Hector thorized that it may have something to do with the disappearances the old notices on the town notice board mention. There is no way of knowing yet and we have much more pressing matters to handle first. The kitchen needs cleaned soon as possible for new food to be cooked. Investigating the tunnel I’ll put a guard on once the worst is done with.

I had to return to the inn for a rest and Lapis came to check on me. She’d figured I couldn’t have ended up in so bad shape from just the week at sea, clever girl. I had to admit I’d not been sleeping well at all for some time. She offered rum to help me sleep, which I refused. I do not like the thought. She also asked for the bag of jewels from Alroc’s town treasure, for her to use in trade now that we start from scrap. It will be needed of course and I told her that I trust her enough to take the role as trade master. She’s proven to be skilled enough. However, she didn’t like my warning regarding betraying the trust I put in her with giving her this job. I got upset I felt and asked her to leave.

I tend to upset her it seems. I was hoping we could talk more often, but maybe it’s not such a good idea as I first thought.

Later I met up with Hector again and discussed his contribution to town. I mentioned we have no carpenters and masons. We’ll see what he decides to learn. As he also know Orri I had to mention her. He’d like to get updated on her whereabouts and I offered to see his letters sent if he had any. It was nice to get to talk for a little bit. Especially after what happened earlier in the day.

I have much work to tend to still, I should be on my way.

[Zarkaylia]

2014-10-12

I saw to Zaira getting familiar with the smithy today. We will need her to start working soon as she have the materials she’ll need, we will need tools it appears. Sooner rather than later. To not mention I will have a large order for her myself now that I stand without armour.

Bishop arrived, asking about the guard’s state. I told him what I can at the moment: we will be patrolling the town again soon enough. But there are other matters to tend to first. The boy appears to want to toss himself into things though, if I know my grandson he’s already getting bored out of his mind. I’ll need to get him working as quick as possible. Before he gets himself into trouble.

As for Zaira, she noticed the home above the smithy. She’s still young, but it appears she will need to pick up hard work early anyway. I’d expected her to move out soon so I let her decide if she wished to stay there or not. It appears she’ll be trying it out. We’ll see about Estelle, she’s been old enough to leave the nest for a while now. But I am uncertain if she wants to or not.

I may have overreacted or I may not have. Passing by the smithy again on my way back I heard yells and went to check. Finding Zaira seated on Bishop on the floor. I know what that boy’s mother says about him and girls damn well, so I parted them. Bishop assures they were only playing though, wrestling. I do remember they did that a lot as kids, but with Bishop it’s better to be safe than sorry. Zaira was mad, but she’ll cool off.

I am uncertain what I think of the children leaving the house. It’s not unexpected and like I haven’t been there before, but with Thomas’ leave I think it may feel empty again for a little while. Still, I think a part of me will feel good about it. Relieved, perhaps. When we had Estelle we were prepared to raise her of course, but we were not prepared for Zaira. Nor was I prepared for Bishop and Lapis, or Thomas’ return home. I don’t mind caring for them, I still will be even when they don’t live in the same house, but it’s nice to get our peace and our space back. To not mention full privacy, Spy and I will enjoy that very much.