02-03-2014, 07:24 PM
Hello, Dablob. I'm Hutchy and I'll be helping you through whitelisting.
Your backstory needs more detail and relation to the server lore, which can be found here. Lore relation helps us judge how well they character will fit into the setting, and the overall backstory lets us gauge if they are a believable character and, again, how they fit into the setting. I recommend that you take a look at previous, accepted applications and/or character sheets to help you get a better idea of how it should look and read.
In addition, we need a more detailed path through the backstory, the character’s age at certain events being an example of this.
Your character’s backstory doesn't do a lot to explain personal growth over her life. The backstory needs to show more description of how she was as a child, how she was through adolescence and then into adulthood. It is necessary that we see how the character has changed over the years before arriving in the setting. Please work on this.
Additionally, the personality section could do with some fleshing out. This lets us know that you know the character. When you add further detail to the backstory, it can help you accomplish this.
Your character’s skills seem to be quite limited, and it’s current layout makes it difficult to understand the ‘level’ of his skills. I recommend that you read this guide and evaluate the layout of this section.
That's all for now. When you have made the necessary changes, bump the thread and we can continue.
Your backstory needs more detail and relation to the server lore, which can be found here. Lore relation helps us judge how well they character will fit into the setting, and the overall backstory lets us gauge if they are a believable character and, again, how they fit into the setting. I recommend that you take a look at previous, accepted applications and/or character sheets to help you get a better idea of how it should look and read.
In addition, we need a more detailed path through the backstory, the character’s age at certain events being an example of this.
Your character’s backstory doesn't do a lot to explain personal growth over her life. The backstory needs to show more description of how she was as a child, how she was through adolescence and then into adulthood. It is necessary that we see how the character has changed over the years before arriving in the setting. Please work on this.
Additionally, the personality section could do with some fleshing out. This lets us know that you know the character. When you add further detail to the backstory, it can help you accomplish this.
Your character’s skills seem to be quite limited, and it’s current layout makes it difficult to understand the ‘level’ of his skills. I recommend that you read this guide and evaluate the layout of this section.
That's all for now. When you have made the necessary changes, bump the thread and we can continue.
