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[Trashed] Whitelist Application
#1
In Game Name: Dablob77809

Why do I want to join?
I really love playing on RP servers but I can never find a good one.

Do you have any RP'ing experience: I little bit but not a ton of experience.

Tell us about yourself: I am 21 years old, Working on a Greek Mythology major in my third year of college, and I would love to be able to play on a server where some 10 year old isn't standing at spawn whining about some stupid thing that doesn't even really matter, or asking for " dimondz pls"

My character biography:As a child growing up in a small farming village, he grew up with two parents He had an older brother but he died due to when the xitans first burst through the portal he was shot down by a bow on the front lines. And this gave birth to a hatred towards any xitan he would ever come across in his life.

His parents worried he would leave just like his brother did before him. Desperately attempted to keep him in their village, so they pampered him. Extremely, going out of their way just to get him the best of everything. Wasting money to keep him entertained, and in their fruitless efforts he got bored. He got so bored that he would steal. Not publically and never actually getting caught. For he was scared if they ever found him doing anything other than being the “ Perfect angel from heaven.” They would hate him.

The First time Mythune ever stole was when he was was about nine years of age.. He was in a small shop at the town square and he parent’s gave him a few coins to buy a treat with. And he couldn’t make up his mind over two different items, sweet rolls, or a large lollipop. But he didn’t have enough money to get both. So he grabbed the lollipop while the store clerk wasn’t looking, and stuffed it under his shirt. Then grabbed the sweat roll payed for it and left without a second thought. What he found out then was that he loved the feeling he got from stealing. He spent the rest of the day going into to different stored and stealing small goods.

Mythune’s first ever high cost burglary was about at the age of fifteen. He saw a really nice lucin made pendent. Which cost over 500 coins, much more than he had to spend. And it was supposed to enhance your strength. Which he believed absolutely none of, but it was well guarded and he wanted a bigger rush than just stealing small goods. So he made a plot, and followed through with it. He stole it and not a single soul caught him. Not he caught a whiff of his trail.

When Mythune finally turned of age, just as his parents feared. He left, taking only a lucin made dagger he got him for his fifteenth birthday to hunt with and the clothes on his back. He left heading out for ‘adventure’ but Mythune going around on his inane search for adventure got him back into old habits. Because as they say “ Old habits die hard.” And he started to steal. Again and again and again. Looking for the ‘thrill’ he so desired. But never able to fill that hole in his chest.

But on one fateful night he finally had enough. He wanted to feel complete, and oh would he feel complete.

Mythune while in a large city mostly inhabited by xitans due to it being so near to the portal to their world. And the Leader of said village was of course a xitan, and Mythune in slight spite for the xitans due to them killing his brother. Decided he would steal what is most precious to him, his scepter.

And so on that night the real Mythune was born. While in the middle of stealing his scepter from the Noble’s bedside a guard entered the room and caught Mythune red handed. So he was faced with two options. Go to a xitan jail or kill the occupants of the room. He chose the latter. Quickly before the guard could say anything. Mythune through his most treasured lucin made knife into the throat of the xitan guard killing him instantly. Then retrieved the weapon from the guards throat and slit the Nobleman’s and his wife’s throat. Then making it look like the guard killed the nobleman then kill himself was easy. And he got off scotch free.

But Mythune realized something that night. He enjoyed killing, he loved seeing the other’s body slump and stop breathing. He loved seeing blood pour from their bodies as they died a pain filled death. And most of all he loved the thrill he get’s from killing someone, it fills the emptiness.

But he soon found out he didn’t have nearly enough experience to actually be able to get any jobs. He couldn’t keep up with the competition and didn’t get nearly enough jobs to keep anything. So he turned to the life of a soldier, following in his brothers footsteps. Partly to spite his parents and the other to be able to feel the ‘rush’ he longs for.

Character skills: lying, sneaking about, His greatest skill is fighting in general as that he learns on the job and from past hunting experiences ( he's not a fighting god though.) Tricking people, and most of all killing.

Does your character Bring anything to the setting?
The need to get his next 'rush.' And his favorite dagger. ( Don't actually need to give me a sword i'm just adding that in.)

Anything you would like to add?:
No not really. Hope I will be RP'ing with you soon. ( oh and I did edit this again to resubmit.)
#2
Hello, Dablob. I'm Hutchy and I'll be helping you through whitelisting.

Your backstory needs more detail and relation to the server lore, which can be found here. Lore relation helps us judge how well they character will fit into the setting, and the overall backstory lets us gauge if they are a believable character and, again, how they fit into the setting. I recommend that you take a look at previous, accepted applications and/or character sheets to help you get a better idea of how it should look and read.

In addition, we need a more detailed path through the backstory, the character’s age at certain events being an example of this.

Your character’s backstory doesn't do a lot to explain personal growth over her life. The backstory needs to show more description of how she was as a child, how she was through adolescence and then into adulthood. It is necessary that we see how the character has changed over the years before arriving in the setting. Please work on this.
Additionally, the personality section could do with some fleshing out. This lets us know that you know the character. When you add further detail to the backstory, it can help you accomplish this.

Your character’s skills seem to be quite limited, and it’s current layout makes it difficult to understand the ‘level’ of his skills. I recommend that you read this guide and evaluate the layout of this section.

That's all for now. When you have made the necessary changes, bump the thread and we can continue.
#3
Hey, Hutchy Thankyou for the imput.
I am a little miffed that you thought my character was a girl though.
#4
... I need to sleep more, good catch.
#5
ha, it's ok I just thought you actually thought my character was a girl. So I was like " I'm pretty sure I said 'he' a couple of times in there."
  


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