05-03-2013, 02:42 PM
Welcome to Mesalia. I'm Michelle, and I'll be reviewing your application.
1. You seem to be under the impression that a character must be named after or similar to you. That's not the case. Also, there isn't a need to write in first person for backstories and character details. There are other options.
2. From the whitelist application format: "Only Moderators and Administrators may be of Lucin or Xitian blood in any form." Please revise your application accordingly. I suggest reading the application format thread more thoroughly.
3. Your character's backstory also requires more relation to the lore of Mesalia. Did any of the events mentioned effect him? If so, how? If not, why? Also, your character's backstory must end with them arriving at the forbidden lands alone, as this is where the RP is set. Please revise this.
4. More detail is required overall, particularly in regards to your character's personality. Please elaborate on it, and consider how evidence in his backstory would support his personality.
5. Your character's skill set needs to be more exhaustive. It says he can use weapons. Which weapons, and how skilled is he?
Your English isn't bad; it's sound. The issues in your application are mostly in relation to content and detail. I also suggest you browse through here on our old forum for examples of what we're looking for.
That's all. Good luck.
1. You seem to be under the impression that a character must be named after or similar to you. That's not the case. Also, there isn't a need to write in first person for backstories and character details. There are other options.
2. From the whitelist application format: "Only Moderators and Administrators may be of Lucin or Xitian blood in any form." Please revise your application accordingly. I suggest reading the application format thread more thoroughly.
3. Your character's backstory also requires more relation to the lore of Mesalia. Did any of the events mentioned effect him? If so, how? If not, why? Also, your character's backstory must end with them arriving at the forbidden lands alone, as this is where the RP is set. Please revise this.
4. More detail is required overall, particularly in regards to your character's personality. Please elaborate on it, and consider how evidence in his backstory would support his personality.
5. Your character's skill set needs to be more exhaustive. It says he can use weapons. Which weapons, and how skilled is he?
Your English isn't bad; it's sound. The issues in your application are mostly in relation to content and detail. I also suggest you browse through here on our old forum for examples of what we're looking for.
That's all. Good luck.
![[Image: a88823d4-5335-49cc-91b4-f8c511e214f8_zps...1409225114]](http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g158/mnguy3/a88823d4-5335-49cc-91b4-f8c511e214f8_zpsf21a961a.png?t=1409225114)
